Episode 11

The Hot Girls Guide to Beating the Winter Blues

Published on: 30th November, 2023

Today's episode is all about something that hits close to home for many of us, especially during these chilly months—Winter Blues and Seasonal Nonsense! Yep, these are the days when it's darker than your coffee and your dopamine receptors seem to be away on winter vacation without you. You’re not alone- we're here to share our misadventures and triumphs in dealing with the winter funk.

Made even more unserious by the ADHD med shortage, we talk about the importance of self-care and mindfulness in maintaining mental health throughout winter months, and meander through stuffing waffles, bidets, and celebrity drama. Join us as we spill the tea on the things that work (running away, Vitamin D and twinkle lights), the stuff that's a total flop (you cannot spend your way out of depression), and everything in between. Spoiler alert: fuzzy socks and a sexy lil boo thing might make an appearance! We've got expert advice, relatable mom moments, and probably a few laughs at our own expense.

Topics this week include:

  • The roller coaster of following Julia Fox 
  • Vienna gets nosy about Crystal dating
  • Setting boundaries with family
  • The bisexual conundrum of never knowing when a woman likes us back
  • The joy/hell of family photos
  • Bidets and bougie toilets
  • Byron Katie and the 3 kinds of business
  • Vyvanse is on a manufacturer backorder and the ADHD is ADHDing
  • Diddy + Celebrity Scandals and Victim Blaming
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder and Winter Blues
  • Coping with Winter Monotony
  • Indoor kids stuff in the winter sucks
  • Why does public transportation smell so awful in the winter?
  • Running away from home 
  • Unapologetically loving basic things
  • Cuffing Season
  • Eating good without shame
  • The Joy of Winter Gift Giving

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Music by FASSounds on Pixabay.

Transcript
Crystal:

Like this is where we start

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

The very important question, what do you think about Julia Fox?

Crystal:

I think that she's an oddball and an odd bird.

Crystal:

However, I like her now that she, outside of Kanye, I don't know what

Crystal:

was she was doing with Kanye and I also heard recently, and she's

Crystal:

like, we never even like had sex.

Crystal:

And I was like, why were you gallop dancing around behind this man?

Crystal:

That is clearly like, anyway.

Crystal:

I like some of the things she says.

Crystal:

I can't say I like her, but I like some of the things that she says.

Crystal:

She's not gonna all these notifications on her phone for men

Crystal:

to have all this access to her.

Crystal:

I'm like,

Vienna:

Mm-Hmm.

Crystal:

yes, bitch.

Vienna:

She does bring up, she brings up good points.

Vienna:

I,

Vienna:

I also was not the biggest fan with, in the Kanye era.

Vienna:

I was just like, it was confusing.

Vienna:

I didn't really understand.

Vienna:

It felt very

Crystal:

was being a raging anti-Semite

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And there it felt gimmicky, but like, maybe like you hitched

Vienna:

your cart to the wrong wagon.

Vienna:

I don't know

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

I was a girl.

Crystal:

What are you doing here?

Crystal:

Why are you, why

Crystal:

are you in it?

Vienna:

I felt like there was a contract that was signed like too early on

Vienna:

and then he went off the deep end.

Vienna:

But like she still had, yeah, like she still had contractual obligations.

Vienna:

It didn't make sense.

Vienna:

But everything I hear from her lately, I'm like, I like the things she's saying.

Vienna:

I won't say everything 'cause I'm not hearing everything she's saying.

Vienna:

So like, maybe she's saying some real foolishness.

Vienna:

I don't know about that.

Vienna:

I loved when she did the lie detector test and they're like, do you hate men?

Vienna:

And she is like, well, you know, like da da da da.

Vienna:

And then like, the man is like, answer the question Juliette.

Vienna:

And like, yes, she hated men.

Vienna:

But to be fair, if a man had just directed me to answer

Vienna:

the question like that, I also

Crystal:

hate him too.

Vienna:

yeah, I'd be like, I fucking hate you.

Vienna:

Don't talk to me like that.

Crystal:

I'd be like, is the question,

Crystal:

do I want you to eat a dick?

Crystal:

Yes.

Vienna:

Like rude.

Vienna:

Like who, who are you?

Vienna:

Yeah, you're the, the,

Crystal:

hate men telling me to do shit.

Crystal:

Speaking of which, jill Scott, who's one of my favorite artists of all

Crystal:

time, I think she is one of the finest women I've ever seen in my life.

Crystal:

And I'm like, hell yes.

Crystal:

To like beautiful, curvy, gorgeous women from Philly.

Crystal:

Anyway, sorry, side tangent.

Crystal:

I went somewhere in my head.

Crystal:

Anyway, Jill Scott was giving this interview probably like on

Crystal:

the Breakfast Club or some other like, you know, morning show.

Crystal:

And I knew exactly what she meant because she said about like, in with

Crystal:

men, if you can't tell me what to do, you can't tell me what to do.

Crystal:

if you can tell me

Crystal:

what to do.

Crystal:

You can tell me what to do.

Crystal:

And I was like, yes.

Crystal:

Like that.

Crystal:

I knew exactly what she meant and I was like, yes.

Crystal:

Someone gets it.

Crystal:

Like

Vienna:

that should be the new national anthem.

Vienna:

I would also like Jill Scott to sing that.

Vienna:

Like I want, I would just, could you imagine

Crystal:

we

Crystal:

got a tag her

Vienna:

soul would sing that?

Crystal:

National Haughty anthem.

Crystal:

You can't tell me what to do if you can't tell me what to do.

Vienna:

Eh, yeah.

Vienna:

I would just get down to that.

Vienna:

Like I can get down to that in my head.

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

that's a good one.

Vienna:

I like that.

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

Um, we can cut this if you want to, but are you

Vienna:

only talking to guys right now?

Vienna:

we can cut this out.

Vienna:

I'm just being

Crystal:

You know what's so, no, it's fine.

Crystal:

It's fine.

Crystal:

You know what's so funny?

Crystal:

You were the third person to ask me that this week.

Crystal:

Even my therapist would be like, why are you not?

Crystal:

Two things.

Crystal:

I have no game with women and men are, men are like puppies.

Crystal:

You like wave a snack in

Crystal:

front of their

Vienna:

you don't care

Crystal:

Are obviously not like that.

Crystal:

I just feel like we, we require a very different set of things.

Crystal:

I don't know that I have any kind of game.

Crystal:

I don't think I do.

Crystal:

And also, I'm not gonna lie, women are difficult too.

Crystal:

I feel like it is a more difficult experience in that, my radar

Crystal:

on like how to read the signs.

Crystal:

I feel like I'm being flirted with or not is not great.

Crystal:

And so that is difficult

Vienna:

yeah,

Crystal:

Yeah.

Vienna:

that is very relatable.

Vienna:

And I also think like depending on what you want right now, like yes, of course

Vienna:

there are women who like also just wanna like mess around and have a good time.

Crystal:

My therapist was like, why are you not hooking up with women?

Crystal:

And I was like, truthfully, I don't know that I can do any more hooking up.

Crystal:

I'm a lover girl at heart.

Crystal:

So

Crystal:

like, you

Crystal:

know,

Vienna:

you're gonna like go out on the women's circuit and you're gonna

Vienna:

have a wife by the end of the week.

Vienna:

So

Crystal:

oh my God.

Crystal:

Right.

Crystal:

Girl, I'm, I'm, this, it is not my first rodeo.

Crystal:

I remember from the last

Vienna:

gonna have like, you're gonna have another woman living in your

Crystal:

The, the, the, we fell in love and then we broke up.

Crystal:

Was pretty much gist of that

Crystal:

relationship.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And moving and getting all invested.

Vienna:

That's a big expense.

Vienna:

I don't blame you.

Vienna:

I was just being nosy.

Vienna:

Living vicariously.

Crystal:

I don't know girl.

Crystal:

Although like sometimes I do get the urge to like, I'm like, I just

Crystal:

wanna like make out a little bit.

Crystal:

Like why can't I be like, do you wanna make out?

Crystal:

And then the thing is with women in person, I don't know that

Crystal:

I've been flirted with until like after I've been flirted

Crystal:

with, and then I'm like, man, fuck.

Crystal:

like

Vienna:

that that is the bisexual woman's dilemma, that you're just like

Vienna:

so oblivious to what women are doing.

Vienna:

You're like, oh my God, she was so nice and so pretty and

Crystal:

Literally me,

Vienna:

liked it when she held my hand and only she wants to

Vienna:

spend the rest of my life with me.

Vienna:

Oh wait, she didn't just wanna be friends.

Vienna:

My

Crystal:

when she told me, I was like, really pretty.

Crystal:

But like our eye contact lingered for longer than five seconds.

Crystal:

oh, I thought she was just maybe socially awkward.

Crystal:

No bitch.

Crystal:

She was flirting with you, but I don't like, think about it until

Crystal:

hours later and I'm like, oh, that

Crystal:

woman was so

Crystal:

nice.

Crystal:

And then I'm like, and I'm awkward.

Vienna:

When she, when she said she wanted to move in and be my

Vienna:

wife, I was like, oh my gosh.

Vienna:

A best friend.

Crystal:

it's

Vienna:

a new friend,

Crystal:

being my sexual is hard, uh,

Vienna:

We're so stupid.

Vienna:

We really

Crystal:

help me out.

Crystal:

Meet me at the bisexual countertop and Taco Bell.

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

I like, I would need somebody to come to me and be like, I am this, I am

Vienna:

flirting with you now, now even then.

Vienna:

So

Crystal:

would, someone

Vienna:

my gosh, you're so sweet.

Vienna:

You're so cute and funny.

Vienna:

Like, you a

Crystal:

The classic girl.

Crystal:

Like, I love your hair.

Vienna:

Well, how are you?

Crystal:

How am I?

Crystal:

Oh my God, I'm really good

Vienna:

you seem so good.

Vienna:

You seem so

Crystal:

Like I was last time.

Crystal:

I've been doing a lot of clearing all week long, today I had like a really good

Crystal:

little morning cry not over anything bad.

Crystal:

It was like just me re remembering, some beautiful things about myself and like

Crystal:

some things about deservedness and.

Crystal:

It just happened to catch me in a moment.

Crystal:

So it's been a nice week of cultivating that.

Crystal:

And Thanksgiving was good.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Did you feel a whole lot of gratitude or was it just like,

Crystal:

I did when we sat down for dinner.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

was too nervous.

Crystal:

Given that like my parents and I had been like a little like tense.

Crystal:

It felt like the first time it was not as tense.

Crystal:

And that's comforting in a way because it's like just helping me see that,

Crystal:

hey, some of the boundaries that I've set in place with them are

Crystal:

working because we can be around each other and have a pleasant time,

Crystal:

Because of those boundaries.

Crystal:

I'm trying to lean into that space.

Crystal:

Like try not to be upset over what you want it to look like

Crystal:

and it doesn't look like that.

Crystal:

And just be grateful for where you are.

Crystal:

Accept and appreciate like the reality of, of where things are.

Crystal:

So it was good

Crystal:

because of that

Vienna:

yay.

Vienna:

I'm so proud of you that you've done so much work over the

Vienna:

past several months, really.

Vienna:

I mean longer than that, but I feel like you've really been working on boundaries

Vienna:

and it's nice that they're paying off now.

Crystal:

I think

Crystal:

they are.

Vienna:

I feel like when you start talking boundaries, it's like, oh my

Vienna:

gosh, everyone's gonna be so mad at me.

Vienna:

Like this is gonna ruin all my relationships.

Vienna:

And then the reality is like, it actually improves relationships

Vienna:

because there's a lot less resentment there, but it takes time

Crystal:

you.

Crystal:

Ding dinging.

Crystal:

That was, that's the word.

Crystal:

That's the hot tea right there.

Crystal:

The boundaries will help like ease that resentment.

Crystal:

Truly.

Crystal:

People always think that the boundaries are for other people

Crystal:

when really it's for us, you know?

Crystal:

And

Crystal:

we all benefit from that.

Vienna:

Respect.

Vienna:

'cause like it is hard.

Crystal:

yeah, yeah, It's a challenge every time, but it's, and it's a practice.

Crystal:

Some weeks, I'm not gonna get it right by the way, but it's fine.

Crystal:

Your Thanksgiving, but also your photos

Vienna:

got our family photos back.

Vienna:

They were so cute.

Crystal:

It's kind.

Crystal:

Are you gonna send me an eight by 10 of your entire family

Crystal:

so I can wallpaper it in

Crystal:

my house?

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

I'm gonna send you a full, one of every one of those 59 photos that

Vienna:

were sent to me in the gallery.

Vienna:

I'll send you one of each of them.

Vienna:

I love, I love family photos.

Vienna:

That is like, I will.

Vienna:

Go without meals because I'm like, I need our family pictures again this year.

Vienna:

I just love it so much.

Vienna:

And like in the moment I hate it.

Vienna:

I'm so stressed.

Vienna:

Every year I'm like, this is the most stressful day of my life.

Vienna:

And every year my photographer, like, we've been using the same person forever.

Vienna:

So she'll contact me to schedule them and it's like September we schedule these and

Vienna:

like every time we get to November and it is like, photos are today, I had no idea.

Vienna:

And it's weird 'cause we got into this moment that like on the way home Jimmy and

Vienna:

I were like, that was easier this year.

Vienna:

It wasn't as bad.

Vienna:

Like it feels like it's getting it easier, which is like, oh, that's awesome.

Vienna:

Like we're getting to this point with the kids.

Vienna:

But then it's also like, oh my God, like

Crystal:

There's something too about like being able to look through your

Crystal:

photos and see how like your kids like, 'cause I remember your photos

Crystal:

from like, when you first said Dominic

Vienna:

Oh, the

Crystal:

First of all, like you, you have such a beautiful and photogenic family.

Crystal:

You got, again,

Crystal:

like if you've, you've heard me say it before, people, but Vienna's kids

Crystal:

look like little Botticelli babies.

Crystal:

Like they are painted on the Sistine Chapel or randomly at a,

Crystal:

in a statue like around Jerome.

Crystal:

And have like lashes, eyes, cheeks, serving

Vienna:

Yeah, we all have the chubby cheeks.

Vienna:

Rosy, chubby cheeks, dimples.

Vienna:

We, yeah, we are abundant in chubby cheeks in this family.

Crystal:

You know, I love

Crystal:

me a

Crystal:

chubby cheek.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

So they're adorable.

Crystal:

But also like if they're, the pictures always turn out in this

Crystal:

beautiful, like quintessential New England way and I'm like, eh, is

Crystal:

this what people in Boston are doing?

Crystal:

And I love it so much.

Crystal:

Um, because like normally

Crystal:

when I think Boston, I think like, um, red Sox and racism, Boston, but

Crystal:

I'm like, oh, but look at

Crystal:

my very lovely friend living on the coast,

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Every time I get photos done, I'm just like, like, we'll be leaving

Vienna:

and be like, there is, there's no way she got one photo that was good

Vienna:

because like, who was screaming?

Vienna:

Like, who was this?

Vienna:

And like, every

Vienna:

year like, I don't know how you did that, but congratulations to you.

Vienna:

And this year leaving, I was like, oh my God.

Vienna:

Like I bet you got some good ones.

Vienna:

And I'm like, oh, how, how are my babies?

Vienna:

Like posing?

Vienna:

They were so well behaved.

Vienna:

This okay, this is also the trick because my plan when we were going

Vienna:

the photos was like, . If you all behave, I'm gonna let you get ice

Vienna:

cream before dinner on the way home.

Vienna:

Like, we're gonna eat ice cream on the way home.

Vienna:

Like that never happens.

Crystal:

big deal.

Vienna:

Right?

Vienna:

And Jimmy was like, don't even say it.

Vienna:

Here's what we're gonna do.

Vienna:

He told the kids, he said, you each get one thing you

Vienna:

can complain about this year.

Vienna:

You get one free complaint, use it wisely 'cause you only get one.

Vienna:

Those kids didn't complain.

Vienna:

Not even once.

Crystal:

Didn't wanna risk it.

Vienna:

Nate still will not wear pants with the button, does

Vienna:

not like things with buttons.

Vienna:

Not okay.

Vienna:

I pulled out a pair of pants that had a button on 'em and I was like, I

Vienna:

really would like you to wear these.

Vienna:

I think it's gonna look really nice.

Vienna:

And he goes, okay, but I can complain about one thing.

Vienna:

And I was like, yep.

Vienna:

And he took the pants and he was like, I'm not gonna use it on this.

Vienna:

I'm gonna save it.

Vienna:

I was like.

Vienna:

He didn't even, they didn't use him on anything and I

Vienna:

didn't even have to go to them.

Vienna:

Ice cream.

Crystal:

Then it means that they really actually enjoyed the experience

Crystal:

of just being with each other.

Vienna:

Ew,

Crystal:

Yuck.

Crystal:

Family

Crystal:

bonding.

Vienna:

what little

Crystal:

That's nasty.

Crystal:

That's nasty.

Vienna:

Gross.

Crystal:

One of the sweetest things in the world is like when you catch your

Crystal:

kids being really kind to each other or like just kind like, just those

Crystal:

sweetness and they're not like expecting to be observed or like they just

Crystal:

don't even know that you're watching.

Crystal:

I love when you catch them in these moments when they're just

Crystal:

being very sweet, very loving, very cute, and they're not even

Crystal:

expecting you to be watching them.

Crystal:

I love catching Enzo in those moments, especially because he's such a rotten,

Crystal:

um, but it just is like evidence of your good parenting, you know?

Crystal:

And evidence that , not all hope is lost.

Crystal:

Like, oh, you aren't little shits all the time.

Crystal:

Like actually most of the time you're not a little shit.

Crystal:

You just get to appreciate their sweetness in those moments.

Vienna:

I like it when they're sweet.

Vienna:

YEah, it definitely makes the rest of it a lot and then, let's

Vienna:

see, Thanksgiving was good.

Vienna:

We were at my in-law's vacation house all the way across

Vienna:

the state, three hour drive.

Vienna:

It was nice to come home.

Vienna:

I

Crystal:

I believe it.

Vienna:

It's nice to come home,

Crystal:

Did you have a lot of people, um, as guests or no?

Vienna:

No, no.

Vienna:

I think like everybody from this side of the state drove over there to

Vienna:

that side of the state . I was like, I'm glad we're all driving for this.

Vienna:

But yeah, it, uh, it was cute to see like Jimmy's grandmother is 96 years old.

Vienna:

She was there.

Crystal:

Uh,

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And like just to see the boys how like sweet and like intuitively respectful

Vienna:

they are with her was like another little like pat on the back moment

Vienna:

that I was like, oh, look at them.

Vienna:

They're so sweet and respectful.

Vienna:

They like, were being so gentle when they were going to hug her to be like, let

Vienna:

me not like knock this old lady down.

Vienna:

It was just very, I was proud of them watching them.

Crystal:

I love that.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

They were really cute.

Vienna:

Uh, yeah, and it's just like nice to see them with more extended family.

Crystal:

I love that.

Crystal:

And they're so sweet.

Crystal:

I bet you they were like eating them up

Vienna:

Oh.

Vienna:

Like, you know,

Vienna:

they, the kids know how to turn it on too.

Vienna:

Like they,

Crystal:

Oh man.

Vienna:

yeah.

Crystal:

Javi and Enzo, uh, bless her soul.

Crystal:

Titi Lee she is my great aunt, my mom's aunt.

Crystal:

And when she would see Javi, she'd be like, here you go honey.

Crystal:

You never wanna be without any money in your pocket.

Crystal:

And she would like, hand him a 20 and I'd be like, oh.

Crystal:

Or like Javi went through this phase, Javi and Enzo of like finding

Crystal:

my dad's wallet and just like taking money out of his wallet.

Crystal:

And I was like, I have never, but they just are so like, cute about it.

Crystal:

And they don't even ask.

Crystal:

But yeah, old people love to heat up kids that age and I'm here for it.

Crystal:

Anyway, so yeah, it was a, a beautiful week and now we're here.

Crystal:

um, ahead of schedule for us.

Crystal:

By the way, I want y'all to know that it's Sunday.

Vienna:

It is Sunday.

Vienna:

This

Vienna:

isn't coming out till

Crystal:

supposed to record every week.

Vienna:

This is the goal and

Crystal:

This is what we are supposed to be doing.

Crystal:

And this is gonna be, uh, I'm gonna use this as an example of how we're

Crystal:

gonna talk about this today on the podcast, but leaning into some

Crystal:

activities, um, in the wintertime.

Vienna:

Mm-Hmm.

Crystal:

And trying to like vibe by a schedule that is a

Crystal:

little bit more consistent.

Vienna:

that, that's, I tell you all the time, you're on

Vienna:

that big girl shit these days.

Vienna:

You are.

Crystal:

so hard,

Vienna:

I love it.

Vienna:

Are

Crystal:

trying so hard.

Crystal:

I, when I tell you, the end of the summer came and I was like, okay girl, you cannot

Crystal:

carry this all on into the fall because it's gonna like bring you major depression

Crystal:

if you don't like, change some habits.

Crystal:

And yeah, it, it's been like a game changer and I've decided as a cancer

Crystal:

to work with the New Moon, the Scorpio New Moon, and use that as my jump off

Crystal:

point for implementing some of these like better practices for myself.

Crystal:

So like, we're gonna talk about that too on the Patreon at some point.

Crystal:

So.

Vienna:

I love that you earlier were like the Ritalin is Ritalin

Vienna:

and I'm so happy for you for that.

Vienna:

And I have been out of my Vyvanse for a few days and haven't been able to get a

Vienna:

refill because of the holiday weekend.

Vienna:

So literally what I was listening to you talk, however, as soon as you said the

Vienna:

jump off, my brain immediately went to it.

Vienna:

This is the jump

Vienna:

off right here, yet, like immediately started singing

Vienna:

I I didn't hear

Crystal:

you, if you didn't go there, are you a real one?

Crystal:

If you didn't go there when you heard those words?

Vienna:

like what?

Vienna:

Millennial nonsense.

Vienna:

Millennial

Vienna:

foolishness.

Crystal:

I love

Vienna:

And then I heard nothing else.

Vienna:

You said,

Crystal:

That's it.

Crystal:

All you heard was Ray J and Lil Kim in your ear, and that was Arguably the

Crystal:

better of their two, uh, collaborations.

Crystal:

By the

Vienna:

I can't wait to rewatch this video.

Vienna:

'cause I have a feeling you can pinpoint the moment that my eyes

Vienna:

just like go blank and I'm like,

Crystal:

please send it

Crystal:

please.

Vienna:

was like a That's so braven moment for another millennial reference.

Vienna:

I was like,

Vienna:

Oh my God.

Vienna:

I cannot wait to pick up my ance tomorrow.

Vienna:

It's been.

Crystal:

I have like two pills left, so I'm really glad that you said that

Crystal:

because I need to call the doctor

Vienna:

It is bullshit that they make like every other prescription, auto refill,

Vienna:

whatever, the one for A DHD where you have poor executive function and can't

Vienna:

remember to call for your shit on time.

Vienna:

That's where they make you call

Crystal:

You know what

Vienna:

days.

Crystal:

a setup for failure, y'all.

Crystal:

And really, we have got to get it together.

Vienna:

And then they like,

Crystal:

Have you met

Vienna:

then there's like doctors that make you like go through it

Vienna:

too to prove that you need it.

Vienna:

And it's like, I forget to call every month.

Vienna:

Like is that not proof enough?

Vienna:

That should be proof

Crystal:

And mine comes in 90 days.

Crystal:

Does yours?

Vienna:

Oh no.

Vienna:

Maybe I should ask about that.

Vienna:

It wasn't because, okay, so Vyvanse was

Crystal:

Oh wait, I have to, I have to put mine.

Crystal:

I just remembered that for insurance purposes.

Crystal:

Anyway,

Vienna:

so insurance wouldn't cover it for 90 days because it was like it, there

Vienna:

was no generic and it was $370 a month.

Vienna:

But I was like, what am I supposed to do?

Vienna:

Not pay it like and just be a crazy person.

Vienna:

So I was paying it, but it just went generic in August.

Vienna:

So now I'm wondering if I could start doing a longer refill.

Vienna:

That'd be nice.

Vienna:

Three $70 a month.

Crystal:

That's insane.

Vienna:

The only way I could really justify it to myself was like every

Vienna:

day I was like, alright, well this is like $13 a day and the amount

Vienna:

of money that my dopamine seeking ass would spend if I didn't take

Vienna:

this would be more than $13 a day.

Vienna:

So I guess the math is still math thing and I'm like making out better, but

Crystal:

You know, I, mental health is one

Crystal:

place where if you are blessed to have it, spend the resources on it because child.

Crystal:

I will get a second job to pay for my therapy appointments.

Crystal:

When I do work a second job, it often goes to that because, and it's not

Crystal:

even like I'm paying that much, but like, it is a necessity that I talk to.

Crystal:

I always feel better after talking.

Crystal:

I might not always wanna make the appointment because I'm like,

Crystal:

you, it, it, it, you're gonna talk about the same issue you always do.

Crystal:

But I've never regret going, not ever.

Crystal:

I always come out of it feeling very good.

Crystal:

And I'm like, damn, this is just gotta be built in the budget.

Crystal:

Like nails, hair, food, gas,

Vienna:

Nails, hair, therapy,

Vienna:

food, rent,

Crystal:

Rent.

Vienna:

I, I love that.

Vienna:

Nails, therapy, rent.

Vienna:

They're all

Vienna:

at the same.

Vienna:

Listen,

Crystal:

to like,

Vienna:

we have given up so much

Crystal:

fuck,

Crystal:

I'm not giving up my acrylics.

Crystal:

Damn it.

Vienna:

No nor should you

Crystal:

Yeah, lemme tell you something.

Crystal:

Banging Jen and Elkridge, Maryland is gonna get my money because

Crystal:

I need to get my nails done.

Crystal:

Leon, the barber, the best barber, um, in Anne Arundel County and beyond.

Crystal:

He's gonna get my money every two weeks, okay?

Crystal:

He knows how to cut my hair without making me look like a

Crystal:

man in terms of like hairline,

Vienna:

You are

Vienna:

the most gorgeous woman in the entire world.

Vienna:

There's absolutely no what you have the most feminine face.

Vienna:

Like give me a break, first of all.

Crystal:

Because it's shaped like a potato.

Crystal:

Look at this a whole,

Crystal:

fuck.

Crystal:

But look, a kiwi a Kiwi girl.

Crystal:

I was talking to Kelly earlier today

Crystal:

and I was like, Kelly, don't I look like I'm like, like an aging kiwi, like on top.

Crystal:

Just look at that shit.

Vienna:

I cannot

Crystal:

An old ass Kiwi.

Vienna:

Oh my

Crystal:

She was wild.

Crystal:

Anyway, I don't know how we got here.

Crystal:

Maybe the Ritalin is wearing off.

Vienna:

I am like, I already know how this one's gonna go because I

Vienna:

have no medication in my system.

Vienna:

It's,

Crystal:

Can we, um, can I, can I, can I ask a question?

Crystal:

Mid podcast

Vienna:

yeah,

Crystal:

can we just shoot the shit?

Vienna:

let's just shoot the shit for a second.

Crystal:

Shoot the shit.

Crystal:

Fucking right.

Crystal:

Let's still pull a card though.

Crystal:

I'll have a little consistency for you ho out there who were like, oh

Crystal:

my God, this podcast is so off the

Crystal:

rails.

Crystal:

Every week

Crystal:

they get worse and worse.

Crystal:

and worse.

Vienna:

I know.

Vienna:

I like, every week I'm like, we have like 20 minutes of

Vienna:

banter before we get into it.

Vienna:

Today we're on like minute 26 , so like whatever.

Vienna:

We're cutting some of this out.

Vienna:

It'll be faster.

Vienna:

Whatever.

Crystal:

I mean, yeah.

Crystal:

Don't worry.

Crystal:

We'll edit out a good 10 minutes of me talking about my personal

Crystal:

life in a manner that you don't

Crystal:

need

Vienna:

We didn't even talk about Cheesecake Factory today, so,

Crystal:

oh my God.

Crystal:

Oh, you know what?

Crystal:

I could really go for tiramisu cheesecake

Crystal:

like right now.

Vienna:

This has nothing to do with Cheesecake Factory , but

Vienna:

I need to tell you something.

Vienna:

I saw

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

This man

Crystal:

The medication is gone.

Crystal:

Everyone, neither of us have it in the system.

Crystal:

We spoke too

Vienna:

this man took stuffing, like leftover stuffing and he

Vienna:

put it in a waffle iron and made stuffing waffles and put his

Vienna:

Thanksgiving sandwich on that as the

Crystal:

Jimmy did that.

Vienna:

No, I wish,

Crystal:

Oh,

Vienna:

no, it was just this southern, some man on the

Crystal:

some other man.

Crystal:

Dude,

Vienna:

I wanna do

Crystal:

so fucking good.

Crystal:

That

Crystal:

sounds so banging.

Vienna:

I picked up another box of stove chop stuffing, 'cause I think I'm

Crystal:

Hell yeah.

Crystal:

Oh my God.

Crystal:

You've gotta do that like in the next few days.

Crystal:

I gotta

Crystal:

see

Vienna:

You know what else he did?

Vienna:

He mixed gravy and mayo to like put on it.

Vienna:

Which like sounded really gross.

Vienna:

Like I'm not about the male life, however, the rest of his, I don't, I

Vienna:

don't know what it's called, like food aesthetic, like the flavor profiles he

Vienna:

was putting together just were so on point that I was like, I trust him on this.

Crystal:

I'm not gonna lie, I would eat the hell outta that

Crystal:

sandwich.

Crystal:

I

Crystal:

didn't even ask what was in the middle.

Crystal:

All I heard was making stuff and end waffles and I was like, hell yeah.

Crystal:

Sign

Vienna:

Then, then he put like the Turkey cranberry,

Crystal:

that sounds so good.

Vienna:

Right.

Vienna:

I know.

Vienna:

I think that's gonna be for dinner.

Vienna:

You can also tell I haven't had my Vyvanse in days because

Vienna:

like the appetite is appetite.

Vienna:

Uh, normally that's like the first thing to go and it's kind of a bummer,

Vienna:

but I like have to force myself to eat.

Vienna:

But right now

Crystal:

I'm

Crystal:

gonna, I'm gonna pause mid, mid pause here to remind myself that I

Crystal:

actually have pasta on the stove.

Vienna:

oh, shit.

Vienna:

Go get that.

Crystal:

Um, it was just the water and I

Crystal:

was like, oh, I should probably like turn it off.

Crystal:

'cause, um, my, I don't feel like, I don't feel like eating

Crystal:

dough.

Vienna:

Hmm.

Vienna:

Well get you an extra box of Stovetop stuffing and you can make

Vienna:

yourself a little waffle tonight.

Crystal:

That sounds so amazing.

Vienna:

I'm excited for it.

Crystal:

We're gonna do a card pull.

Vienna:

What deck are you using today?

Crystal:

I'm in my old faithful girl, the energy oracle deck.

Crystal:

'cause like, she is just a banger for me every week.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

We are so grateful to be in this joyful mood.

Crystal:

So we're in a joyful mood and we're supposed to talk about seasonal, um,

Crystal:

depression and like, kind of like leaning into the season a little bit,

Vienna:

And last week we were so salty and we're supposed

Vienna:

to be talking about gratitude.

Vienna:

We are really on like mixed messages here.

Vienna:

people are

Crystal:

on an emotional bender.

Vienna:

Like, what are they getting into?

Vienna:

You'll never know.

Vienna:

Based on the vibe.

Crystal:

I don't, it's the vines baby.

Crystal:

It's, it's all vibe.

Crystal:

But today we're just feeling extra joyful and still very grateful.

Crystal:

And I'm glad that we can come to spirit like this and ask just

Crystal:

for a really Ooh, a good word.

Crystal:

As we enter the week, and it's so funny, our card is anxiety.

Crystal:

Everyone

Vienna:

talk about a mixed bag today.

Vienna:

I.

Crystal:

I swear.

Crystal:

Warrior distress.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

So the woman in this card is filled with anxiety worrying about something that

Crystal:

causes her a great deal of discomfort.

Crystal:

Receiving this card upright might indicate that you're experiencing a

Crystal:

time of increasing stress, perhaps even a situation that you're find yourself

Crystal:

brooding about much of the time.

Crystal:

However, if you'll notice the scene outside the window, the storm is

Crystal:

distant and perhaps even moving away.

Crystal:

Hmm.

Crystal:

A vibe, whatever's going on, this card is telling you to release

Crystal:

the worry and let yourself relax.

Crystal:

Brooding and fretting will never solve things, so trust in

Crystal:

yourself and trust your process.

Crystal:

Oh, I love that.

Crystal:

When you live with the relaxed heart and mind, you're far more likely

Crystal:

to receive solutions that you seek.

Crystal:

Let me, let me give it up for the Oracle deck coming through with a good word.

Crystal:

One of the biggest reliefs of anxiety for me is literally when I get, can get a

Crystal:

grip for five seconds is to ask myself, like, if I can change something or not.

Crystal:

And it, it doesn't make me like, oh, well fuck it.

Crystal:

I can't change it it's more like, is that in my control?

Crystal:

If you follow me on social media, like my following of

Crystal:

like, what, like 300 followers.

Crystal:

Okay.

Vienna:

The best baddies,

Crystal:

I annually talk about this quote that helps my anxiety.

Crystal:

It's about the three kinds of business.

Crystal:

And by Byron Katie

Vienna:

oh wait, I don't know this.

Crystal:

yeah.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

So Byron Katie is like a, self-help kind of spiritual vibe, right?

Crystal:

And I don't, I don't agree with everything she says, but one thing that she did say,

Crystal:

that helps you get through your anxiety, she said there's four questions actually.

Crystal:

Is it true, because this question can change your life.

Crystal:

Can you absolutely know it's true?

Crystal:

Number three, how do you react?

Crystal:

What happens when you believe in that thought?

Crystal:

And number four, who would you be without the thought?

Crystal:

Sometimes I have trouble in that moment approaching something

Crystal:

from outside of an emotional perspective and into a logical one.

Crystal:

I need sometimes those very specific questions to get a grip on what it is I

Crystal:

can get my hands on and control or not.

Crystal:

And, and in, and control in what way?

Crystal:

So I really love her.

Crystal:

I love like reading that over and over again.

Crystal:

She also has this thing called the three kinds of business, which also helps too.

Crystal:

So it's like, are you in your own business or are you in like

Crystal:

somebody else's business or are you in god's or source's business?

Crystal:

So when you worry about earthquakes, when you're gonna die, like blah, blah, blah,

Crystal:

blah, blah, you're in God's business.

Crystal:

You don't have control over that.

Crystal:

I'm worried that she's never gonna blank or I hate that she always blank.

Crystal:

You are not minding your business.

Crystal:

You're not minding your business.

Crystal:

So you need to get back over here in your business.

Crystal:

And she says, if you over there minding somebody else's business who

Crystal:

is over here minding yours, not you.

Crystal:

So mind your business.

Crystal:

Right?

Crystal:

And that is a very, I don't know if you've heard it, if you were black, you've

Crystal:

definitely heard it to mind your business.

Crystal:

Mind your business.

Crystal:

And it is not just about like you and other people.

Crystal:

It's like my literally mind your business.

Vienna:

Mm-Hmm,

Crystal:

What is only yours to control?

Vienna:

I am in the habit of taking God's business and making it,

Vienna:

making myself think it's my business

Vienna:

and it's not.

Vienna:

But then I ignore my own actual business because I'm like so

Vienna:

worried about like plan B, plan C, plan D for everything else.

Vienna:

In the event that there is a blizzard and I'm stuck in my car for four days,

Vienna:

and I think like, oh, let me focus here.

Vienna:

And you know what?

Vienna:

That's not gonna help me when I just haven't answered that email I've

Vienna:

been putting off for three months.

Vienna:

Like that.

Vienna:

Maybe I could have a little bit more control over minding my own business.

Vienna:

So that is true.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Crystal:

It is a, it's a banger and it drags, it drags a little bit.

Crystal:

Like it

Crystal:

drags me, like when I read it, I'm like, oh,

Vienna:

it was a little bit of a sting.

Vienna:

It was like, oh, but

Crystal:

Like it's mind my, my business.

Vienna:

my business just been minded.

Vienna:

Um.

Crystal:

Speak for yourself.

Crystal:

I don't wanna mind my business.

Crystal:

Like, yeah, it's, it's hard to mind business, but it is necessary.

Crystal:

And I feel like, I don't know, in some ways, maybe that's what the winter time

Crystal:

is like, a reminder of like, what is business and all the other months, like,

Crystal:

we're busy, we're doing things and because we're in that like reflection season, I'm

Crystal:

like, this is a very good season for me to like go back over what my business is

Crystal:

and am I attending to it very well or not?

Vienna:

And it's another good time to like prioritize business, right?

Vienna:

Like if you have all these things that have been stacked up as your business,

Vienna:

maybe there's some stuff there that you can get rid of that you're actually like,

Vienna:

I don't really care about this anymore.

Vienna:

Like, we can let this one go.

Vienna:

I'm gonna give this one back to God.

Vienna:

They could take over on that one.

Crystal:

Speaking of business, we can cut this or not, but

Crystal:

it is relevant to pop culture.

Crystal:

Do you remember when I had the visceral reaction to, to us talking

Crystal:

about Diddy a few months back?

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

We have not talked about this.

Crystal:

We need to fucking talk about it.

Crystal:

We

Crystal:

need to talk about it.

Crystal:

Let's just take a minute.

Crystal:

'cause we like,

Vienna:

You,

Vienna:

you knew, like you knew in your bones it re Okay.

Vienna:

You having that reaction to Diddy was basically Hannibal

Vienna:

Burris calling out Bill Cosby.

Vienna:

Like years before all that shit came out like that you were, you knew.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

Well, I feel like a lot of people in the industry obviously

Vienna:

Shh.

Vienna:

It was, you take the credit

Crystal:

know,

Crystal:

but like, I, I feel like there are just some people that give off a vibe and I

Crystal:

feel like he definitely gives a vibe.

Crystal:

And I heard, I, there's some things I've heard about him where I'm like, oh, oh

Crystal:

my God, that's like, get it together.

Crystal:

That's not likely true.

Crystal:

And then there's some things where I'm like, oh yeah, that

Crystal:

probably never really happened.

Crystal:

But when I saw that and the swiftness with which he decided to settle it.

Crystal:

Um, I was like, yeah, that tracks and makes sense and is also really horrific

Crystal:

and tragedy and tragic for Cassie.

Crystal:

Cassie.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

So if you haven't,

Crystal:

I'm like, not surprised

Vienna:

If people haven't heard, first of all, like, I

Vienna:

don't know where you're getting

Vienna:

in news.

Vienna:

Go look.

Vienna:

Um, but Cassie came out with like charges and like allegations that Diddy had

Vienna:

sexually assaulted her physically, like beat her up was financially abusive.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And like forcing her to do real fucked up shit that she didn't wanna do.

Vienna:

We don't need to get super triggery around here, but, um, straight

Vienna:

up like not good guy stuff.

Vienna:

Um, real, real bad

Vienna:

guy times.

Vienna:

And

Vienna:

yeah, just

Crystal:

just, yeah, just horrific behavior.

Vienna:

and the strength of her also to come out and be like, no, I'm

Vienna:

gonna, I like, I'm gonna be the voice for this because I'm not the only

Vienna:

one that he's been real awful to.

Vienna:

Um, incredible.

Vienna:

Like she doesn't know anybody any of that,

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

She doesn't.

Crystal:

And, and, and for the record, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna lean into

Crystal:

the microphone when I say this.

Crystal:

You are a trash human being.

Crystal:

If you don't see the complexity you are a trash human being if you don't

Crystal:

recognize how his age plays a factor.

Crystal:

Keeping in mind that I think he was in his like mid to late thirties, and

Crystal:

she was 19 when they started dating, signed her to a 10 record deal.

Crystal:

Who the fuck does that?

Crystal:

Anyway, if you are one of these people that are like, oh, she, she, used him

Crystal:

to get her career off the ground, and why now is she saying something, girl?

Crystal:

And I say, girl, like collectively, shut the fuck up.

Vienna:

I heard somebody talking about this within the context of Leonardo

Vienna:

DiCaprio and like how he stays dating like 22 year olds and now, like how it's

Vienna:

a joke because like, it's not a joke and people are like, oh, they're adults.

Vienna:

Like, they know what they're getting into.

Vienna:

And it's like when you have that power differential that doesn't really apply.

Vienna:

It's not like two people coming in on the same level.

Vienna:

People who have more access, more power, whatever.

Vienna:

But also the fact that, think about like, how many people say like, oh, the

Vienna:

person I dated at 22, biggest mistake.

Vienna:

Like when I was 22.

Vienna:

Like, biggest mistake of my life.

Vienna:

What a fucking joke.

Vienna:

Like, I can't believe I would never do that again.

Vienna:

And think about the fact that like, how many of these 22 year olds are

Vienna:

saying that about these men, that it's like, he was a fucking joke.

Vienna:

It was the biggest mistake I made.

Vienna:

Like, and it's facts because why do you wanna be, I don't know.

Vienna:

I, I get that there are.

Vienna:

Appropriate relationships that are very supportive between

Vienna:

people of very different ages.

Vienna:

But like I said, that power differential is a really big issue there.

Vienna:

And

Crystal:

Huge.

Vienna:

yes, it can, it can be done safely and securely, but I don't

Vienna:

think if it's Leonardo DiCaprio types and a Diddy type, somebody who has

Vienna:

a lot more draw, it just, it's hard.

Vienna:

And we, we saw that play out with Cassie and Diddy and all the love to

Vienna:

Cassie and to any other women who are speaking up because it's fucked up and it

Crystal:

Listen, and, and because the, the real, the real thing is like.

Crystal:

When you are a victim, it's very likely you've already spent a lot

Crystal:

of time making other people feel very comfortable, with your silence,

Crystal:

or people silencing you rather.

Crystal:

And in her new stage of life, she didn't deserve that.

Crystal:

What she also doesn't deserve is, people trying to force her to be

Crystal:

quiet because they're uncomfortable.

Crystal:

It is unfortunate that what what seems to stick in our society is always, you get

Crystal:

attention through financial compensation, and, you know, maybe some karma

Crystal:

somewhere else later on down the line.

Crystal:

But like.

Crystal:

Just a, just a quick heads up.

Crystal:

She doesn't owe you shit people, she certainly doesn't need to

Crystal:

justify, her actions when she's undergone such an experience and

Crystal:

she doesn't owe you anything, especially if you don't believe her.

Crystal:

Okay.

Vienna:

Yeah, I,

Crystal:

Be ignorant.

Crystal:

That's fine.

Crystal:

People are saying like, oh, she, she used him to get her career off

Crystal:

the ground for like cut it out.

Crystal:

Cassie is not Beyonce and that's not shade.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

But she's not, you know what I mean?

Crystal:

I guarantee you he got way more out of that relationship than she did.

Crystal:

Um, and I'm just amazed that people are still like playing into that.

Crystal:

Like, just because she was young, didn't know that she didn't mean

Crystal:

she didn't know what she was doing.

Crystal:

Like you said, like, have you been 19 before?

Crystal:

Come on, people.

Crystal:

So anyway, I'm just saying I, um, am really happy for her if this brings

Crystal:

her some additional closure and she looks very happy otherwise in her life.

Crystal:

Like she's got a great spouse and a beautiful family and all that stuff.

Crystal:

I also believe that one of the best things that you can do is live

Crystal:

your life in such a beautiful way.

Crystal:

Because if, um, people like that who are abusive, there's no way their life is

Crystal:

as good as it could be if you, if you like, were a decent being, you know?

Vienna:

That was the gospel according to Crystal, and it's the truth, it's facts.

Crystal:

People cut the shit.

Crystal:

Stop being

Crystal:

insane

Vienna:

Stop.

Vienna:

Stop victim blaming.

Vienna:

There

Vienna:

is no way that any individual in the midst of the hardest shit in

Vienna:

their life are going to be making decisions that you, from your high

Vienna:

horse, deem the right decisions.

Vienna:

Like people are going through it every day.

Vienna:

They're not gonna be reading your playbook of how to deal with it.

Vienna:

They're trying to survive.

Vienna:

So we don't really need to hear your victim blaming about why what people

Vienna:

did is wrong when they're living in a hell they're trying to get through

Crystal:

like how you have you lived life?

Crystal:

Like it can suck sometimes

Vienna:

right.

Vienna:

Like

Vienna:

I can tell you the hardest times were not the times I was making

Vienna:

the most enlightened decisions.

Vienna:

It was let's get through the day.

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And

Crystal:

out to the people doing the, like, doing the work

Crystal:

and

Crystal:

and even more shout out to people who have, who do the work in a public manner.

Crystal:

People get really uncomfortable when people share their truth

Crystal:

and their experience, in these really difficult situations.

Crystal:

But I think a lot of people wouldn't know they were in those situations if it

Crystal:

weren't for someone being brave enough to share their story about things.

Crystal:

If we can show each other how we relate to each other, if we can show each other our

Crystal:

humanity and, and our, and our experience, we're gonna find it's shared in some way.

Crystal:

And there are a lot of people who really need that.

Crystal:

How many people might at some point have like the courage and it takes a

Crystal:

lot to go after their abuser in some kind of way, to get some closure

Crystal:

around that or to hold them accountable.

Crystal:

That's not an easy process.

Crystal:

And so for someone to do that, knowing that it's gonna be the topic of every

Crystal:

conversation, on a public forum in, in the entertainment world for quite

Crystal:

some time, that that just requires more balls than, than anybody.

Crystal:

So,

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Uh, let's be real.

Vienna:

Like for people who are out there saying awful things,

Vienna:

victim blaming, victim shaming,

Crystal:

Mm.

Vienna:

Cassie's not gonna hear that or see that.

Vienna:

. I, I hope she doesn't, but like who is going to see that is your friend

Vienna:

who is coming to terms with speaking out against an abuser or somebody who

Vienna:

has gone through something in their past and hasn't been able to share

Vienna:

it like they are the people that are reading you being a dick right now.

Vienna:

So maybe let's tone it down and you know,

Vienna:

stop the big dick swinging because it's actually not

Crystal:

do better.

Vienna:

Do better be better.

Vienna:

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Crystal:

Fucking right.

Vienna:

Good.

Vienna:

Fuck them.

Crystal:

Fucking, I'm gonna f bomb kind of mood today.

Crystal:

All right.

Crystal:

So listen here, it's Sunday.

Crystal:

Our outline is out the window, which I love for us.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

Um,

Vienna:

We can get back on it.

Vienna:

Oh yes, it's Sunday.

Vienna:

All right, so here today we are talking about battling the Winter

Vienna:

Blues Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Vienna:

And here's the tea.

Vienna:

Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing, like it is fully a real thing.

Vienna:

We're not here to diagnose anybody, but even if you're not diagnosed

Vienna:

with seasonal affective disorder, the days are dark, they're short.

Vienna:

You are dealing with family, potentially negotiating old long-term relationships.

Vienna:

Uh, there's triggers that are coming up.

Vienna:

There's overwhelming to-do lists, to spend lists.

Vienna:

The angst, the stress, it's cranked.

Vienna:

We can all have some winter blues and there's a lot of crossover in the

Vienna:

things that can help both seasonal affective disorder and winter blues.

Vienna:

Um, obviously if something is like getting in your way of living life

Vienna:

day to day that you are unable to deal and cope and get outta bed, please

Vienna:

speak to a medical professional, a mental health professional.

Vienna:

Hopefully these tips will, or this conversation,

Vienna:

right, like we are not a doctor.

Vienna:

But hopefully some of this stuff we talk about today will at least help

Vienna:

you feel a little more seen and give you, uh, a nice to-do list of how to

Vienna:

shake yourself out of the winter blues.

Crystal:

Yes, because it's, it can be rough and it's sneaky.

Crystal:

So hopefully, you know, if we can like, get some good habits Rolling now.

Crystal:

When we're in the thick of winter, we'll be a little bit better

Crystal:

off for it, um, when it hits.

Crystal:

Because I feel like for me anyway, it is inevitable that it pops up for me

Crystal:

like late January going into February.

Crystal:

I'm like, all right, enough sick as shit.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

What and what does it feel like when it starts for you?

Crystal:

My God.

Crystal:

Just like, you look up one day and you're like, I haven't

Crystal:

left like the house in a while.

Crystal:

Like, and you haven't.

Crystal:

And like, there's no desire to leave the house.

Crystal:

Now.

Crystal:

That's really tricky for me because I already don't like to leave

Crystal:

the house and I already don't really like people like that.

Crystal:

So it's hard to discern like what is, the SADS and what is just me being a cancer.

Crystal:

It's like a natural at some point for me not to wanna balance the scales

Crystal:

and, and go be a little bit social or do something that is meaningful

Crystal:

to me that I have interest in.

Crystal:

And you know, if you, if you suffer from depression as it is, it's,

Crystal:

I think it can be even trickier.

Crystal:

But there is something about the winter that always makes me a little

Crystal:

sad just because of, obviously the lack of warmth, but also like if you

Crystal:

are, fine and melanated, then that means that you also very likely have

Crystal:

like a little bit less vitamin D or a lot of it less in your system.

Crystal:

We lose vitamin D very fast, and we tend to run lower on it, if

Crystal:

you happen to be a black person.

Crystal:

Talk to, your doctor about the vitamin D intake because it can

Crystal:

affect us, in a greater capacity.

Crystal:

But it just feels like, an additional heap of sadness sets in.

Crystal:

It starts to feel like, oh my God, this is the longest fucking winter ever.

Crystal:

When was the last time I was in the sun?

Crystal:

When was the last time I felt warm?

Crystal:

When was the last time I, I laughed a little bit and it's like, oh,

Crystal:

you've really just been coming home in the dark every day at like six

Crystal:

o'clock, making dinner, doing what you need to do and going to bed.

Crystal:

And it's like, you don't realize you've been doing that like for some weeks

Crystal:

and it's just like, oh, depression.

Crystal:

Whatcha doing here?

Crystal:

Like, Ariana, whatcha doing here?

Vienna:

I, we like, I think we're so, well, I think for a lot of

Vienna:

people, the, the sads do start to kick in a little earlier.

Vienna:

Like, my kids are getting off the bus at 3 45 and like the sun is

Vienna:

going down and I'm like, oh damn.

Vienna:

Like, hurry up, go play outside for 10 minutes.

Vienna:

. Like, this is all you got.

Crystal:

Do like whatever you

Vienna:

yeah.

Vienna:

But we, I think it's easy to, uh, tell yourself that it's not really happening

Vienna:

because there's Christmas lights and there's so much to do, and we can

Vienna:

be really busy that we just sort of like shut that part of our brain off.

Vienna:

Uh, accepting it, but it can also kick in earlier.

Vienna:

I think if you're looking for it, you might notice it a little sooner.

Vienna:

Um, and not to say that like, you know, that's inevitable or whatever, but it

Vienna:

might just be like a moment to be aware of the fact that like, are you taking

Vienna:

care of yourself even in the busy season?

Vienna:

Are you giving yourself a little more time to decompress?

Vienna:

Because that might help make it a little easier once we do get

Vienna:

to that January, February point.

Vienna:

Because yeah, for me that's when it really kicks into that.

Vienna:

You're like,

Vienna:

my God, I've, it's been winter in New England for seven years.

Crystal:

And girl, you've got all that snow.

Crystal:

So like I legit don't know how you're doing it.

Vienna:

We had a very no snowy winter last year and I don't think it snowed once.

Vienna:

Like my kids, I was a little annoyed 'cause I was like, I bought all these

Vienna:

damn snow pants in the next size.

Vienna:

If we didn't use 'em once.

Vienna:

Um, I still love tags on them.

Vienna:

I should try to return them

Crystal:

You might like.

Crystal:

You might get some use outta this year.

Crystal:

I heard this winter is gonna be like particularly

Vienna:

I'm, well, you know, my kids all grew 'cause they're gigantic.

Vienna:

So I'm like, now I gotta return these things.

Vienna:

Try to find a new size.

Vienna:

Um, but yes, it

Crystal:

Have a five T or a seven T.

Crystal:

Lemme know.

Crystal:

Or a seven.

Crystal:

Let know.

Crystal:

I'll buy 'em off you

Vienna:

oh look, I, we pulled the bins out today.

Vienna:

Um, I do, we like pulled out all the holiday decorations today

Vienna:

and that does make me happy.

Vienna:

Like those are those little moments of like coziness happiness that

Vienna:

those sort of do get me through too.

Vienna:

And I think like once we get into February and I'm like, the Christmas

Vienna:

decorations have been away for a long time, but I do love getting a

Vienna:

little bit of, uh, the Valentine's Day decorations out, putting some hearts up.

Vienna:

And I think like that's one of the things I have to force myself

Vienna:

sometimes to be like, let's make it cute, let's make it cozy.

Vienna:

But those are little dopamine boosters along the way that I'm like, all right,

Vienna:

there's things we can acknowledge in here.

Crystal:

The cozy leaning into that cozy girl.

Vienna:

We have a lot of February birthdays in my family too.

Vienna:

So that, um, I don't know.

Vienna:

I try to find little moments to celebrate along the way to be like, all right,

Vienna:

well here's something to look forward to.

Vienna:

School vacation in February here.

Vienna:

It's like something, you know, but it's so hard.

Vienna:

It just feels like it drags on forever.

Vienna:

It's monotonous.

Vienna:

Every day's the same.

Vienna:

There's no sun.

Vienna:

We haven't seen the sun in forever.

Vienna:

Um, but yeah, it's no fun.

Crystal:

When winter starts I get, I'm really happy.

Crystal:

But when you, like you said, when you get to that point that like January, February

Crystal:

point, it feels like the monotony of it.

Crystal:

And I will admit that I'm not great with how to like work through that with kids.

Crystal:

That's a thing that I feel like I need some help with.

Crystal:

So like if you guys have some experience in that and like, I don't know how you

Crystal:

do it again, because you're in literal New England and there's no way in house,

Crystal:

I don't even wanna like drive out in the snow when there's

Crystal:

like, when it's like mush.

Crystal:

There's no way.

Vienna:

I am,

Vienna:

also really bad at it, and I don't think I've been very good at it because my kids

Vienna:

will say things like, why do you keep us locked in this house all the time?

Vienna:

And I'm like, because I don't wanna go outside.

Vienna:

I don't wanna be cold.

Vienna:

I think people who do winter sports, like skiing and stuff,

Vienna:

I think they like leveled up.

Vienna:

Like they figured out how to take a really depressing time of year

Vienna:

and eek a little bit of joy out of it, but like . Falling down in the

Vienna:

snow does not sound like fun to me.

Vienna:

I don't want to do that.

Vienna:

I'm trying to avoid it.

Vienna:

It's

Crystal:

I don't wanna heat my car up like heating your car up in the morning.

Crystal:

What

Vienna:

No,

Crystal:

crap?

Crystal:

Let alone scrape ice

Vienna:

I know.

Vienna:

That's what I was just thinking.

Vienna:

Like I have to scrape ice.

Vienna:

I'm not gonna be happy about that.

Vienna:

I think that's i's the real benefit of remote work is not having to

Vienna:

do that, but I don't wanna do it.

Vienna:

Um, yeah.

Vienna:

Some other signs I think for me is in addition to the, like, I don't wanna

Vienna:

go outside, which lemme say I don't think not wanting to go outside is

Vienna:

like a sign that I'm really depressed.

Vienna:

I think it's a sign that it's really cold out and I think

Vienna:

that's a natural way to be.

Vienna:

Like, I think that I'm the logical one there and I think you are too.

Vienna:

You don't like to go outside.

Vienna:

I think that's logical and it's normal and I think that's what, that's the

Vienna:

appropriate reaction to very cold weather.

Crystal:

like, why do I want that?

Crystal:

Why do I wanna go outside?

Crystal:

And like I remember you having to take the bus to work like from

Crystal:

Columbia, like a commuter bus from Columbia all the way into dc.

Crystal:

And like there would be this point in the wintertime where like it was so

Crystal:

cold that my eye juice was drying up.

Crystal:

And I was

Crystal:

Like this is the most

Vienna:

Like

Crystal:

I've ever experienced.

Crystal:

Why do I.

Vienna:

No, what I am,

Crystal:

do I want, do I wanna layer aqua far over my fucking head every day

Vienna:

the inside of your nose gets like the little icicles on your nostril hairs.

Vienna:

The bus smells like wet dog.

Vienna:

'cause everybody's in their wall and like getting sweaty 'cause they ran.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

'cause some of you rem remain funky in the wintertime too.

Crystal:

And honestly, we'll talk about it at some point.

Crystal:

Again, cut this out and, and bathe, cut it out.

Vienna:

like, I get it that people are like, I'm wearing this wool coat.

Vienna:

You can take those to a dry cleaner, you can spray them down

Vienna:

with a little bit of a breeze.

Vienna:

Like it doesn't, we don't have to, not.

Vienna:

It's a lot.

Vienna:

But the public transportation in the winter is a unique smell.

Vienna:

And I, I grew up in New York City, I could say that I took the subway

Vienna:

to school every day of my life.

Vienna:

It's, it gets stinky.

Crystal:

I stopped taking the, the metro because I could not handle.

Crystal:

The smell

Crystal:

when I was pregnant, I, I thought I was gonna throw up every day

Crystal:

on the fucking orange line, and I was like, there's no way.

Vienna:

No, but like, okay, and then, then you have kids, right?

Vienna:

And you don't wanna be playing outside with them 'cause it's cold.

Vienna:

I don't want that for myself.

Vienna:

But then they're like, oh, let's go to this indoor play place.

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

That's basically just like a germ factory.

Vienna:

The kids in there are fucking wild.

Vienna:

'cause they've been cooped up for days and now you put 30 of them

Vienna:

together to climb on each other.

Vienna:

They're gonna beat the shit out of each other.

Vienna:

Somebody's gonna come crying to me.

Vienna:

I.

Vienna:

I like I am the meanest mommy.

Vienna:

'cause I hate playgrounds.

Vienna:

The only thing I hate more than playgrounds is these indoor PlayPlace.

Vienna:

They're all awful.

Vienna:

I'm like, why can't we just go to Target?

Vienna:

Let's just do that.

Vienna:

That's where we all wanna be.

Vienna:

I'll buy you a toy.

Crystal:

Like we've, okay, here's the problem.

Crystal:

And I acknowledge like, here's the problem.

Crystal:

Target is our playground.

Crystal:

It's not their playground So it's like, we know why we would have fun in Target.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

It's amazing.

Crystal:

But like, oh my God, this reminds me, we went to a birthday party

Crystal:

for Enzo at Sky Zone, Vienna, the overstimulation, it was so fucking outta

Crystal:

control.

Crystal:

And I didn't, again, I didn't take my, I didn't take my medicine, so I

Crystal:

was like having a sensory meltdown.

Crystal:

There was so much shrieking.

Crystal:

And then there was music and then there was like kids running and like stomping,

Crystal:

like there, there, it was a sensory nightmare for a highly sensitive person.

Crystal:

It just reminded me that like, that is what winter looks like.

Crystal:

And I think it's like this pressure to entertain the kids and make sure

Crystal:

that they're like, well-rounded and that they're getting activity

Crystal:

and they're seeing friends and you know, we're, we're doing stuff

Crystal:

when I just want a burrito instead.

Crystal:

And, um, man, that is very hard.

Crystal:

It is very hard.

Crystal:

But we're gonna, we're gonna work on it

Vienna:

here is my, here's our, I'm gonna say this is for both of us.

Vienna:

This is our request

Vienna:

to,

Vienna:

to any listener.

Vienna:

If you have found winter activity for kids that is indoors will

Vienna:

not have you trying to peel your skin off five minutes in.

Crystal:

mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

What is it like?

Vienna:

Please, please don't gate.

Vienna:

Keep this just like tell us.

Crystal:

tell us,

Vienna:

Please.

Crystal:

us.

Vienna:

You

Crystal:

We need to know.

Vienna:

You gotta tell us.

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

You can't just keep us in the dark here.

Vienna:

Um, I am like, don't you wanna do a puzzle?

Vienna:

Don't

Crystal:

Oh my God, we did talk about that right last time.

Crystal:

Like we, I need to get my puzzle game.

Crystal:

Like,

Vienna:

I'm like, let's play a puzzle.

Vienna:

Just like, go on your iPad guys.

Vienna:

Go, go beat the shit out of each other in the other room, like, please.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

'cause honestly, girl, that's like, that's pretty much what's,

Vienna:

I

Crystal:

what, what's gonna happen.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

I love decorating with the kids.

Vienna:

We will, we will make some gingerbread houses.

Vienna:

Like those things.

Vienna:

I like

Crystal:

a good art project season

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

But a lot

Vienna:

of those things they dry up in January, like Yeah.

Vienna:

Now I'm dreading it.

Vienna:

We started this time.

Vienna:

We started in such a good mood,

Vienna:

Aw.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Crystal:

But like, but honestly, the reason why we feel that way,

Crystal:

I want you guys to know like, it's not because we hate our kids

Vienna:

No, he liked them so

Crystal:

we love them so much.

Crystal:

We don't want it to suck for them.

Crystal:

Like, I remember being a kid and my mom being like, girl, I don't wanna do that.

Crystal:

And I'd be like, and it's, and it's hard because like when you're an

Crystal:

adult, you know how fucking tired you are and your kids don't get it.

Crystal:

And when you're a kid you're like, yo, can you do something other than

Crystal:

like yell at us or make us clean, or like, tell me to go color.

Crystal:

Like, so, so we get it.

Crystal:

And I never want my kids to be disappointed.

Crystal:

Um, but they might be sometimes because I bitch is tired in, in the wintertime,

Crystal:

it's not always easy to get around.

Crystal:

People get sick.

Crystal:

I'm dreading that part of the season as well

Crystal:

where we just

Crystal:

like get

Vienna:

this.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Crystal:

over and over again.

Crystal:

Um, but yeah, if there are, if you guys have some like new and inventive

Crystal:

ways to like, keep your kids happy and, and also yourselves, like what are

Crystal:

some of the ways that you take care.

Crystal:

Of yourself in a season that it feels like sometimes it's going so slow,

Crystal:

you wanna scream, but also so fast that you wish it would slow down a

Crystal:

little bit because like, I feel like there's a little bit of that duality

Vienna:

The fun.

Vienna:

The fun parts go so fast.

Vienna:

I was so sad this morning when I was like, a month from today, this is

Vienna:

like the peak behind the curtain of what day we're actually recording

Vienna:

versus what it's like going on.

Vienna:

But I was like, A month from today, Christmas is over, like it's done.

Vienna:

We only have a month of like the leading up and like I listen, I know that people

Vienna:

are like, oh my God, it's so basic.

Vienna:

Like basic bitches, whatever.

Vienna:

Like some things . Are considered basic because a lot of people like

Vienna:

them and a lot of people like them because they're fun and they're good.

Vienna:

And I'm gonna say that about the holiday season.

Vienna:

I don't care what holiday you celebrate, I don't care if you do

Vienna:

it in a religious way, if you don't.

Vienna:

I think that towards the end of the year, there just is this like lightness

Vienna:

and happiness and joy and people are excited and you get to see people

Vienna:

you haven't seen in a long time.

Vienna:

You get to see family and that's really fun.

Vienna:

And it's really nice and like a bitch loves a twinkle light.

Vienna:

Okay?

Vienna:

I just love a twinkle light.

Vienna:

It does something inside of me.

Vienna:

I don't know what it is.

Vienna:

And yeah, if that makes me basic,

Crystal:

It's, it's a beautiful, like,

Vienna:

I just like it.

Crystal:

it's just one part of the year for me.

Crystal:

I'm very weird about the holiday season, Christmas in particular

Crystal:

because it gets, it's so, it's so commercialized and, and capitalistic

Crystal:

that it really stresses me out.

Crystal:

I'm sure that's a lot of people's complaint.

Crystal:

But, from an ego perspective, I get like really weird about it because I

Crystal:

wanna give, so much and I often cannot,

Crystal:

and I have to like reel in from that feeling.

Crystal:

And so I feel like I battle that all the time up until like, up

Crystal:

until like a week prior to

Crystal:

Christmas, right?

Crystal:

I feel.

Crystal:

Irritated by

Crystal:

the entire season.

Crystal:

And then something happens when we know we don't have to go to

Crystal:

work for the rest of the week, I know I've gotta wrap the gifts.

Crystal:

There's nothing else for me to do.

Crystal:

There's nowhere else for me to be, but in my house, doing some real corny

Crystal:

shit like making, um, hot chocolate for my kids who are not gonna fucking

Crystal:

drink it, and they're probably gonna spill over the couch and shit.

Crystal:

But this cute, like, wallet lasted for a second and like making cookies

Crystal:

and playing, anything Christmas related that Donny Hathaway sings,

Crystal:

which is my personal favorite.

Crystal:

And like, just like I, it's like, oh look, I can like nest into that

Crystal:

feeling and then I get really, really, really happy about it.

Crystal:

Then when, when like the new year is done, then it's immediately

Crystal:

back to like dreading winter for the rest of the season.

Vienna:

I should take that approach to it though, because I get so fired

Vienna:

up about holidays, like November 1st.

Vienna:

Usually this year's a little weird for me that like, it started late, but I get

Vienna:

so excited and then like by Christmas I'm like, wrap it up, like we're done.

Vienna:

End it.

Vienna:

But I think like you probably do have a better approach that you let

Vienna:

Christmas, be Christmas or let let the end of the year be the end of the year.

Vienna:

I feel like I've been getting into it a little too early lately.

Vienna:

But I don't care what holiday people wanna celebrate.

Vienna:

I'm, I also want to celebrate that with you, . Like I just, if people

Vienna:

say Happy Holidays to me, I love it.

Vienna:

If they say Happy Hanukkah to me, I love it.

Vienna:

I will happily be part of any holiday that anybody wants to acknowledge.

Vienna:

It just,

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

I honestly,

Vienna:

I love

Crystal:

I love celebrating other, like the, the holidays of other

Crystal:

cultures bring me so much fucking joy.

Crystal:

I love to experience that.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

All those Karens who are getting upset about, like, they're, they're

Vienna:

taking the Christ out at Christmas.

Vienna:

Like, you know what?

Vienna:

Let's, let's go down to like, Jesus Christ as a historical figure was

Vienna:

not born December 25th, anyway.

Vienna:

It was a Pagan holiday to begin with that the Christian . Rulers were like,

Vienna:

let's try to get them on board and let them put their trees in their house

Vienna:

and pretend that this is Christmas.

Vienna:

So, you know, like, let's just

Crystal:

Cut the shit, cut the shit,

Crystal:

stop ruining everybody's good time,

Vienna:

in conclusion,

Vienna:

if a twinkle light makes you feel better in December and eases your SADS

Vienna:

a little bit, put that twinkle light up.

Vienna:

Enjoy it.

Vienna:

Do cozy shit.

Vienna:

Make the ha cocoa, put on warm socks.

Vienna:

Get a furry

Crystal:

you know what I

Crystal:

did

Crystal:

to like, cozy up.

Crystal:

I put, I, I can't use my fireplace.

Crystal:

Uh, which is a bummer, but I did put some condos in the

Crystal:

fireplace just to give it a vibe.

Vienna:

I did the same thing last night.

Crystal:

I think it looks so

Crystal:

pretty

Vienna:

so pretty.

Vienna:

We have, we have six fireplaces in our house.

Vienna:

We cannot use any of them.

Vienna:

. The Chiney is nonfunctional.

Vienna:

We cannot use them.

Vienna:

Um, but they also sell, have you seen the Amazon logs or I guess

Vienna:

they're not from just from Amazon.

Vienna:

They're on Amazon.

Vienna:

But you can get them other places.

Vienna:

They have a built-in heater and it's like a light that you can turn on with the

Vienna:

remote, so it'll blow heat out at you.

Vienna:

You could put like different

Crystal:

I'm like, hold on a minute,

Vienna:

I know I saw somebody posted like a video or a picture

Vienna:

on Instagram and I saw it and I was like, oh my God, I need to get that.

Vienna:

It's genius and it has like a built-in heater, so you

Vienna:

still get the warmth from it.

Crystal:

Not a birch one

Vienna:

we'll, we will link these all in the show notes and everything.

Crystal:

We will link the fireplace, um, companion to, the season

Vienna:

Oh

Vienna:

wait.

Vienna:

This is a great little teaser because we are also talking about a healing

Vienna:

happy hour gift guide that will be up on our website in the next couple weeks.

Vienna:

I'm not sure, depending on when this is gonna be going up, how much we'll be out.

Vienna:

But there will be a gift guide as well.

Vienna:

And you know what, this might just be on that gift guide

Crystal:

that's one thing about me.

Crystal:

I'm gonna do whatever to make my place as cozy if we're

Crystal:

gonna be stuck in this bitch.

Crystal:

Because it's cold.

Crystal:

I want it to be as comfortable as possible.

Crystal:

Um, within reason.

Crystal:

You know, so like, having some of your favorite things on hand, the things that

Crystal:

make you feel grounded, like your good nourishing foods, like your, your warm

Crystal:

blankets, the, the best like pajamas that you can possibly get yourself.

Crystal:

Like, make your bed your heaven, get your Netflix list popping.

Crystal:

Like, do all of those things to like, give yourself some, you know, some comfort

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And if you are one of the neurodivergent, girlies like us,

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

the dopamine seeking is a really big piece of it, which means

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

Chopping.

Vienna:

novelty this time of year, right?

Vienna:

Like

Vienna:

have a couple of different types of popcorn.

Vienna:

Get yourself a sampler of different types of hot cocoa.

Vienna:

That way every time you get into it, it's a totally new one.

Vienna:

It's a new experience.

Vienna:

You're gonna get a little bit more dopamine that way.

Vienna:

Um, buy yourself like a 10 pack of really warm socks.

Vienna:

But yes, it's very commercialized.

Vienna:

There's lots of people trying to sell you shit this time of year,

Vienna:

but like you don't have to go too far overboard to get yourself a

Vienna:

little bit of a sense of novelty.

Vienna:

There's so many audio books on Libby.

Vienna:

You don't have to be paying for them.

Vienna:

You already have

Vienna:

your

Crystal:

my God.

Crystal:

Discover like the joy of going to your library too, and like

Vienna:

That.

Vienna:

That right there, I will say is one of the few places that I will

Vienna:

take my kids happily day in and day out because the children's room,

Vienna:

God bless a children's librarian.

Vienna:

You all make the world go round.

Vienna:

I love a children's librarian.

Vienna:

I don't know how you're all so patient when my little hellions are running

Vienna:

around trying to like pull things off the shelves and you're just so kind.

Vienna:

Our library does a monthly scavenger hunt where they like put up

Vienna:

different pictures and different sections of the children's room.

Vienna:

Was that the cat just screaming or was that one of my kids?

Vienna:

I don't know.

Crystal:

She's in the litter box, like covering, but she's so fucking extra.

Crystal:

Now I'm talking about you.

Vienna:

She's like, do you see me talking about you and you take a shit in your

Crystal:

Look, Monica stays going.

Crystal:

Why

Vienna:

Right.

Vienna:

Let that cat alone.

Crystal:

Are you done?

Vienna:

you wanna talk more Gift guide though?

Vienna:

And pooping combined

Crystal:

Oh

Vienna:

a a

Crystal:

tushy that's on my list this year.

Vienna:

We, we switched our toilet out.

Vienna:

I thought it was overkill.

Vienna:

I got done with like, the warm, the heated seat.

Vienna:

The, the warm water,

Vienna:

the warm blow drying.

Vienna:

I thought it was gonna be too much and I didn't think I was gonna like it.

Vienna:

It's a, it's

Vienna:

a life changer.

Crystal:

Are you kidding?

Crystal:

Girl?

Vienna:

Well, you know, sometimes you hear like a warm seat and I was gonna

Vienna:

be like, is it gonna be like when, like somebody's been sitting for a

Vienna:

long time and then you have to use

Vienna:

it right after?

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Like, ugh.

Crystal:

A stranger in a public restroom where you, you had

Crystal:

to put your booty cheeks on

Vienna:

Right.

Vienna:

You sit down and it's too warm.

Vienna:

That's uncomfortable.

Vienna:

It's a different kind of warmth of a warm seat.

Vienna:

So I don't even know where the fuck we are.

Vienna:

Oh my God.

Vienna:

I really cannot wait to get my Vyvanse tomorrow.

Vienna:

This is too much.

Vienna:

Um, okay,

Crystal:

you know, we need to, like, we need to chatter chat about, um,

Vienna:

we're just all over the place today.

Crystal:

we are, I hope y'all enjoy this.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

Um,

Vienna:

So what else?

Vienna:

What else works for coping?

Vienna:

We said cozy stuff.

Vienna:

We said, oh, I don't know what else you said.

Vienna:

You said vitamin D.

Vienna:

Props to that.

Vienna:

And you mean legitimate vitamin D like.

Crystal:

I mean like if you are concerned about your energy levels, because that's

Crystal:

often how it starts, your energy levels and they, you know, like consider talking

Crystal:

to your doctor about doing some blood testing to see how your iron levels

Crystal:

are and how your vitamin D levels are, particularly if you are a black

Crystal:

woman or man or however you identify.

Crystal:

Okay.

Crystal:

If you black, go to the doctor and ask them to do a

Crystal:

little panel to see what's up.

Crystal:

I will tell you that what I thought was low, vitamin D actually ended

Crystal:

up being anemia so severe that that's how we found out I ended up,

Crystal:

I needed to have a hysterectomy.

Crystal:

So like,

Crystal:

it starts with like just absolute low energy and like, just feeling

Crystal:

like, like a very blindness that goes on a little too long.

Crystal:

Um, among other things.

Crystal:

So check it for sure

Vienna:

and vitamin D levels and iron levels are related too.

Vienna:

So if you're vitamin D, . Again, not a doctor, but this is what

Vienna:

I remember my doctor telling me.

Vienna:

If your vitamin D is low, your body is not absorbing iron.

Vienna:

So it can lead to more anemia too.

Vienna:

So you need to get that vitamin D level up.

Vienna:

Um, yes, gotta do that.

Vienna:

Uh, listen, if you are able to, I think running away from

Vienna:

home is a really good solution.

Crystal:

if you have a little extra fundage

Crystal:

and

Crystal:

you can hop a plane to The

Vienna:

if you have time and you have means, and you would like to go

Vienna:

look at some cute little beach honeys in their bathing suits, I suggest

Crystal:

Listen the moment, the moment I have the money, I'm taking my black

Crystal:

ass to Puerto Rico for some days.

Vienna:

I will hide in a suitcase.

Vienna:

It's

Crystal:

Please.

Vienna:

suitcase.

Vienna:

But

Vienna:

yes, listen, it is not in the cards for me to just be able to hop a

Vienna:

flight anywhere I wanna go right now.

Vienna:

. However, if it is in the cards for you, let me live vicariously through that.

Vienna:

I think, I think running away is actually a great course of action.

Crystal:

That sounds so good.

Vienna:

Just like imagine, just like if you can leave your kids at home too

Crystal:

Sweet little week of dissociation

Crystal:

to like going beach somewhere.

Vienna:

A little all-inclusive buffet action there.

Vienna:

Just be laying by the pool and like a sweet little waiter brings you a plate

Vienna:

of fresh fruit and like a pina colada.

Vienna:

Ugh.

Vienna:

That's the fantasy.

Vienna:

That's what I really want.

Vienna:

Um, yeah.

Vienna:

However, if, if that's not in the cards for you, you can hang out back

Vienna:

home with me and get yourself a sad lamp, which is a wonderful thing,

Vienna:

like the most intense brightness.

Vienna:

and it'll trigger a little bit of Vitamin D production.

Vienna:

I think that's how it works.

Vienna:

You get you one of those and then you can also join me on the Peloton

Vienna:

because exercise I think is my other go-to for feeling good.

Vienna:

Especially,

Crystal:

I hate that.

Crystal:

Like it really is a thing, but like it does help a lot.

Vienna:

it is so fucked.

Vienna:

, like, it pisses me off every time I was real cranky when we got home from being

Vienna:

away from the house for days and like of course about an hour away from the house,

Vienna:

birdie threw up all of her car seat.

Vienna:

I was like, what is

Crystal:

nobody made

Vienna:

she's never done this before.

Vienna:

I was a little annoyed by it.

Vienna:

I mean, I wasn't annoyed with her.

Vienna:

I was just like, oh my gosh.

Vienna:

And then I worked out and I felt so much better and I'm, I always hate

Vienna:

that it works, but it does work.

Crystal:

It is true.

Crystal:

And even if it's just like doing some stretching or some mobility.

Crystal:

Try to do that for yourself too, because it's like amazing how tight our muscles

Crystal:

can get, how sore we can get from just not

Crystal:

being as active as we normally are.

Crystal:

And that's like, you know, whatever you can do for your body.

Crystal:

Um, in terms of like the stretching, like some yoga, um, and like, oh God, if

Crystal:

you've, if you've got the resources to, I mean, man, if I had the resources, I would

Crystal:

tell you that I would be in an indoor pool

Vienna:

Oh.

Crystal:

in like at like the Y or something like that to like

Crystal:

just try to get some laps in.

Crystal:

So like some gentle movement and like maybe cheat a little bit too and go

Crystal:

in the, the little sauna with like, you know, the 18 other people that

Crystal:

are in there just to kind of get your like, oh, it just feels like it's

Crystal:

gonna get your blood like pumping.

Crystal:

That's like a dream of mine for the winter.

Crystal:

I wish there was a non-kin place that you could go for an

Crystal:

inexpensive amount of money.

Crystal:

To like lay in a warm steamy room

Crystal:

alone.

Vienna:

Alone.

Crystal:

Alone.

Vienna:

Mm.

Crystal:

That's not my bathroom.

Vienna:

I was gonna say at for, at that price point, for what you

Crystal:

You can just turn the shower on.

Crystal:

Crystal and

Vienna:

yeah, you might, have to crank that shower until

Vienna:

you are out of hot water.

Vienna:

Um, no, those, that is a really, those are good ways to do it.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Vienna:

I hate it, but it's true.

Vienna:

I also was reading that, uh, if you can get outside, clearly I had to read

Vienna:

about this because this is not in my,

Vienna:

in my menu of things that feel good, but getting outside and just taking a

Vienna:

20 minute walk in the winter, you still are getting the benefits of vitamin D.

Vienna:

You're also at the same time

Vienna:

getting that movement in.

Vienna:

If you wanna bundle up, if you're a bundle up girly, break out the winter beanies.

Vienna:

There's some cute ass winter beanies also, so that can be like a little way to get

Vienna:

something cute and cozy on and just take a hot girl walk in the winter, if that

Crystal:

Yeah, it'll get your it'll get your blood flowing for sure.

Crystal:

And some, like, some movement is better than no movement, and

Crystal:

I know it's fucking miserable.

Crystal:

But if you are one of those weird people that loves to

Crystal:

be cold and shit, go do that.

Vienna:

You know what?

Vienna:

As we say this, I am going to try to do that one time this week,

Crystal:

walk in the cold.

Vienna:

walk in the cold, 20 minutes.

Vienna:

That's it.

Vienna:

I'm gonna try it just to see if I hate it as much as I think I do.

Vienna:

I bet I wouldn't because once the endorphins are going, you like it.

Vienna:

So

Crystal:

I

Crystal:

hate it because my skin itches and I'm like, it get very dry very quickly and

Crystal:

I already like, you know, I, I can't be

Crystal:

ashy

Vienna:

Well, that's why I said

Crystal:

leads

Crystal:

to more

Vienna:

week.

Vienna:

I'm gonna do it this week before it gets to like January, February.

Vienna:

Snowy, cold.

Vienna:

Yeah, I'll do it this week.

Vienna:

Then once, yeah.

Vienna:

Um, here's the things that, was there anything else that works for you?

Vienna:

We will also go into what doesn't work because I've tried 'em all and then the

Crystal:

Here's what works.

Crystal:

I think the best for me, really leaning into the season and understanding

Crystal:

that, like, okay, it's like when you come to the acceptance that

Crystal:

you have been benched for a minute.

Crystal:

Just it is literally the earth benching us for a moment because need, we need

Crystal:

the time to recuperate into rest.

Crystal:

And so trying to like really lean into, um, what winter is to us as animals

Crystal:

and humans and um, earth dwellers, and remember that it is a season of rest

Vienna:

In terms of what doesn't work for me, and like I said, I know 'cause

Vienna:

I've tried all of these excessively, um, alcohol does not, does not do it for me.

Vienna:

And I can tell you I know this for a fact because every time I do my

Vienna:

dry January, which I always do dry January, I, I feel really good.

Vienna:

I feel a lot better, things feel a lot more manageable.

Vienna:

And then as soon as I get into February and I start reintroducing, all of a sudden

Vienna:

they do not feel quite as manageable.

Vienna:

So the times I've experimented with not using alcohol, it confirmed, it

Crystal:

you got some results with that?

Crystal:

You know, I, don't drink as much as I used to.

Crystal:

I've probably drank a little bit more now than I have in the past, like year or two.

Crystal:

When I started doing reiki, I didn't drink for a long time and I don't

Crystal:

typically, um, but I have more now now that I've been in the streets.

Crystal:

I do agree that there is, a difficult period, , it can be a go-to.

Crystal:

Even for people.

Crystal:

It's not problematic for, it can be a go-to like, well, you know,

Crystal:

like, I'm home, it's a cold day.

Crystal:

Like whatever.

Crystal:

But there is.

Crystal:

A really nice period after that where like you feel very good, you feel very clear,

Crystal:

and just a little bit more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when you are not having

Crystal:

like a barrage of winter cocktails.

Crystal:

Um, so I always think sabbaticals are a really good idea.

Crystal:

Um, I personally, because like I said, I don't drink as much, um,

Crystal:

the devil's lettuce is my poison of choice and, um, I le am leaning into

Crystal:

more frequent sabbaticals because what does not work is being so high

Crystal:

that I'm like, what, what is this?

Crystal:

What is winter?

Crystal:

That is not productive in, a season where people are more likely to be depressed.

Crystal:

For some people it can be for me,

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Anytime I'm like relying on an external substance to, try to

Vienna:

regulate what's going on internally, it is a recipe for disaster for me.

Vienna:

I, I would say probably like July, August, I really went into

Vienna:

this like sober curious place.

Vienna:

I also was just a lot busier with things like my yoga training and like,

Vienna:

I wasn't coming, I was coming home and had like things to do, so I wasn't

Vienna:

gonna sit back and drink A glass of wine was turned to a half a bot bottle

Vienna:

of wine was turned to a bottle of wine.

Vienna:

Like I just didn't have the time or energy for that.

Vienna:

And then by the time I got to October, I did a sober October.

Vienna:

And realize that like, oh, that wasn't actually hard at all because

Vienna:

I haven't been drinking for a while.

Vienna:

Um, and anytime that like I have more than one or two drinks in a night, at

Vienna:

this point in my life, I'm just like, this doesn't, it doesn't feel good.

Vienna:

It doesn't serve me.

Vienna:

I don't like the person I am at the end of that.

Vienna:

Um, so yeah, alcohol or any other substance, just maybe don't try to let

Vienna:

yourself use it as a crutch or rely on it.

Vienna:

I'm not like gonna advocate for total, sobriety because you

Vienna:

do, you, you know what's best

Crystal:

Just being mindful of your consumption

Crystal:

and how it, how it affects you, um, or not

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

And we, we've talked about this before about just like being intentional

Vienna:

about what you're reaching for, why you're reaching for it, and if it's

Vienna:

something that you actually want.

Crystal:

There we go.

Vienna:

yeah.

Vienna:

Another thing that doesn't always work for me is fully withdrawing

Vienna:

into the cocoon and isolating myself.

Crystal:

my favorite, but it, but it also does

Vienna:

Yeah, it, it can work for like short moments,

Vienna:

but I have to pull myself out.

Vienna:

Otherwise it just becomes like,

Crystal:

depression sitting.

Vienna:

yeah, you like come out and you're like Robin Williams and that

Vienna:

meme where you have the beard and you're like, like, where have I been like that?

Vienna:

And it's, it's not cute.

Vienna:

It's not good.

Vienna:

It just becomes the spiral of loneliness.

Vienna:

Um, another thing on the total opposite of that is the overscheduling.

Vienna:

So

Crystal:

Oh my

Vienna:

especially with kids around the holidays, I try to be like, you know,

Vienna:

there, I've been in places where I'm like, especially when I was working

Vienna:

more that I was like, we have to make every moment as magical as possible.

Vienna:

We're gonna see Santa here, we're gonna see him here.

Vienna:

We're gonna go visit him a third place.

Vienna:

We're gonna go do this weekend away, we're gonna do the Santa's train ride.

Vienna:

We have to do every little bit of Christmas magic.

Vienna:

Um, first of all, that's really fucking expensive.

Vienna:

Like, not for nothing.

Vienna:

I like, let's not.

Vienna:

Um, but when it gets to the point that you're yelling and

Vienna:

stressed, it's not fun for anybody.

Vienna:

So like last year I worked with my therapist on this a lot and she was

Vienna:

like, well, what if you just picked a couple of the things that like, we're the

Vienna:

magic that you want, not the magic that you think like your kids really need.

Vienna:

Like, what are the ones that you really enjoy?

Vienna:

Because they're gonna enjoy the ones that you're having fun with

Crystal:

Right.

Vienna:

and not screaming.

Vienna:

Get in the car, we gotta go.

Vienna:

Who lost a

Crystal:

Oh My God.

Crystal:

Seriously.

Crystal:

And it might just be like, maybe you're baking cookies or doing a ginger bread

Crystal:

house at home, as opposed to like loading everybody into the car and

Crystal:

paying $50 a car to see the festival of lights and everybody hating it.

Crystal:

I think that this is one of those instances where it's okay to

Crystal:

lean into something that is more simple because it's a quality over

Crystal:

quantity

Vienna:

Yeah.

Crystal:

thing,

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

I think that, yeah, just like maybe less is a little more, because

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

I have a feeling that if you ask your kids what they remember, it's

Vienna:

not going to be the, like, I remember when my mom took us to see seven

Vienna:

different Santas in seven different days.

Vienna:

Like, that's too much.

Vienna:

It's too much.

Vienna:

And

Crystal:

and Santa's like, whatcha doing back here again?

Crystal:

Like.

Vienna:

This is like another social media moment where it's

Vienna:

like, it's so easy to compare.

Vienna:

It looks like every other family is doing magical things at every moment of the

Vienna:

day, and they're posting pictures and you're like, oh shit, I forgot about that.

Vienna:

I didn't get tickets in time to go to Santa's elevator.

Vienna:

Like, what am I doing?

Vienna:

I'm the worst.

Vienna:

You're not.

Vienna:

They're also not doing magical things at any moment.

Vienna:

And if they are, if they're loving the moment, that's great.

Vienna:

I'm very happy that somebody is loving it.

Vienna:

But like.

Vienna:

I'm going to guess that between a lot of those pictures being

Vienna:

posted is a whole lot of yelling if it's anything like in my house.

Vienna:

Um, so maybe you can bow out of a little bit of that.

Crystal:

Oh girl.

Crystal:

And Godspeed y'all.

Crystal:

'cause it is hard.

Crystal:

However, whatever you have to do to kind of like remain comfortable,

Crystal:

be good to yourself and be gentle.

Crystal:

You know, I'm all about leaning in, being a little more gentle

Crystal:

during the colder months.

Crystal:

It is just not naturally the time where we are supposed to be going

Crystal:

balls to the walls with everything.

Crystal:

But it sure is an amazing time for us to lean into some things that are, more

Crystal:

intentional and planning and plotting and weeding out and reassessing and

Crystal:

just moving a little bit slower and with more, intention in our day-to-day life.

Crystal:

So, you

Crystal:

know, whatever you gotta do, do it.

Vienna:

I wanna say something that maybe like, I don't know

Vienna:

if it's about this specifically,

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm.

Vienna:

but if there's somebody in your life who is telling you,

Vienna:

literally talking a lot about like, oh, I'm gaining winter weight.

Vienna:

I'm putting on like this, like 15 pounds for the winter.

Vienna:

I have to die.

Vienna:

I can't do it.

Vienna:

Oh my gosh.

Vienna:

All the carbs, all the sweets.

Vienna:

I can't like just don't talk to them.

Vienna:

You don't need that in your life.

Vienna:

We are mammals who are supposed to gain a little bit of weight at different times.

Vienna:

Everybody is different.

Vienna:

Maybe you are not the kind of person who gains weight in the winter.

Vienna:

Maybe you are, it doesn't matter.

Vienna:

But like, just be kind to yourself.

Vienna:

Make sure you're eating enough, a variety of foods, whatever is

Vienna:

available and accessible to you.

Vienna:

Getting your exercise that, but divorce that from the, like, I can't

Vienna:

gain weight in the winter because.

Vienna:

Your body's gonna do what it needs to do, and we can trust that a little bit.

Vienna:

And that is like my biggest pet peeve.

Vienna:

I hear people all the time, they're like, oh my gosh, this Christmas

Vienna:

dinner isn't very diet friendly, is it?

Vienna:

And it's like, well, Linda, like, calm the fuck

Crystal:

Linda,

Vienna:

364 other days of the year to have dinner.

Vienna:

Let's not worry about the holiday one.

Vienna:

Like maybe you

Crystal:

girl.

Crystal:

It's like when my mom was like looking at the amount of cheese I was putting on

Crystal:

the mac and cheese, I was like, this is.

Crystal:

Me in my household, an African American household, and you are

Crystal:

not going to tell me to chill out on the amount of cheese that I put

Crystal:

in my mac

Crystal:

and cheese.

Crystal:

If you asking me the family mac and cheese maker to make

Crystal:

it, then

Vienna:

Would you prefer some dry ass mac and cheese that

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

That's crazy.

Vienna:

regret for the whole year?

Vienna:

Absolutely not.

Vienna:

I,

Crystal:

that over here.

Vienna:

That is like the thing that I'm like, Nope, nope, nope.

Vienna:

Stop, stop, stop.

Vienna:

Because

Crystal:

Yeah, we're gonna have some, we're gonna have

Crystal:

some wet ass macaroni in here.

Crystal:

We are not gonna have dry, um, like hardened noodles.

Vienna:

No.

Crystal:

This is not, it's not the vibe

Vienna:

Although do you bake your mac, mamoni and cheese,

Vienna:

like after you like cook it?

Vienna:

Do you put it in the oven?

Vienna:

I love when the edges get like a, like just the edge gets a little bit

Vienna:

of a crunch

Crystal:

a little, a little, a little something.

Crystal:

A little

Crystal:

judge in the end.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

A nice.

Crystal:

Such a, like tons of cheese actually on noodles.

Crystal:

And then that beautiful thick layer of cheese that's on the top that looks so

Crystal:

excessive and you know you're gonna get diarrhea when you eat it, you don't give

Crystal:

a

Vienna:

But it's worth it.

Vienna:

It's

Crystal:

is still worth it.

Crystal:

Give me a stomach cramp.

Crystal:

As long as I've got my mac and cheese.

Vienna:

Yes.

Crystal:

You have to take a lactate or get some ER and push through people.

Vienna:

Oh yes.

Vienna:

And finally on my list or our list, crystal might have more to add,

Vienna:

but, uh, of things that don't work to beat the blues is overspending.

Vienna:

I have tried time and time again to shop myself out of a depression.

Vienna:

It does not work.

Vienna:

There is a point of diminishing returns.

Vienna:

That point is about when that credit card bill comes due.

Vienna:

You will not be grateful for the shit you bought, that you forgot

Vienna:

about, and nope, don't do it.

Vienna:

Reign it

Vienna:

in you.

Vienna:

If you really are feeling that you need to shop, you can take yourself to

Vienna:

the Dollar Tree, the dollar 25 tree.

Vienna:

You can go there, you can get your fix on, but you cannot

Crystal:

The inflation tree.

Vienna:

you cannot shop your way out of a vitamin D deficiency.

Crystal:

You cannot,

Vienna:

and I've tried, I've tried.

Vienna:

Take it from me.

Vienna:

I have tried.

Vienna:

It doesn't work.

Vienna:

Don't do it.

Crystal:

Don't

Crystal:

do it.

Crystal:

I, I too have fell victim at times to this,

Vienna:

We are only humans and Right, like sometimes I get into that moment that

Vienna:

I'm like, the world might end tomorrow.

Vienna:

I won't have to pay this American Express Bill . Like

Crystal:

that's how I feel about my student loans.

Crystal:

I'm like, oh,

Vienna:

I know I'm really gonna good on that.

Vienna:

Every time the phone rings I'm like, it's Kamala and Uncle Joe

Vienna:

telling me it's time to pay.

Crystal:

girl.

Crystal:

I was in the grocery store and I got a text.

Crystal:

And I was like, Joe, if you don't get the fuck off my phone because

Crystal:

what the fuck have you been doing?

Crystal:

Get your ass off my phone.

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

Get that ceasefire going.

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

You don't need to be texting me about my student loans.

Crystal:

Why are you mind, Joe, you haven't heard about

Crystal:

the three kinds of business?

Crystal:

Get out of my business and get in your

Crystal:

business as

Crystal:

president.

Crystal:

You are fucking up.

Crystal:

Go over there and fix that.

Crystal:

'cause that's your business.

Crystal:

My business is that I don't want to pay these student loans.

Crystal:

I don't have it.

Crystal:

So read some Byron, Katie, Joe, you said you were gonna forgive them, Joe.

Vienna:

Mm-Hmm

Crystal:

Very

Vienna:

I can't wait till they're forgiven and we can all be like, we did it Joe.

Vienna:

We did it

Crystal:

We did a do

Vienna:

What I really want is her cocktail of antidepressants or

Vienna:

whatever med she is on be like the wheels on the bus girl round.

Vienna:

I listen.

Vienna:

Love her.

Crystal:

I Love it.

Crystal:

We gotta find out.

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

But like, don't gate.

Vienna:

Keep that.

Vienna:

Let us know.

Vienna:

Let the people know.

Vienna:

Is there anything else that you wanna add that doesn't work?

Crystal:

Just a seasonal reminder not to make bad decisions

Crystal:

because, you're lonely anyway.

Crystal:

And I will no, I will not be expanding.

Vienna:

don't need to expand, but I will.

Vienna:

I will remind everyone that September is the busiest month

Vienna:

for birthdays for a reason.

Crystal:

chill out

Vienna:

Make better decisions.

Vienna:

. I

Crystal:

I mean, I, not me, I don't have to worry about it.

Crystal:

I had a hysterectomy.

Crystal:

But for the rest of you host, chill

Crystal:

out this season.

Crystal:

Okay?

Crystal:

Be careful.

Crystal:

Be careful how you're keeping warm

Crystal:

is all

Vienna:

listen.

Vienna:

Even if you've had a hysterectomy, herpes does not care if you had a hysterectomy.

Vienna:

Okay.

Crystal:

Yeah, like just chill out for your personal safety.

Vienna:

not shading

Vienna:

on people who have STDs, STIs, whatever, like live your life.

Vienna:

But like, let's just

Vienna:

make, let's make an informed decision

Crystal:

we'll

Vienna:

same as alcohol.

Vienna:

Okay.

Crystal:

make an informed decision, um, when you're, when you're keeping

Crystal:

warm with another body this season,

Vienna:

You know, it's a lot cheaper.

Vienna:

A a,

Vienna:

a

Vienna:

like yeah, like a pillow.

Vienna:

Or like, I've been real big into a heating pad just under my blanket on my feet.

Vienna:

You only need it for a few minutes.

Vienna:

That electricity cost is a lot lower than,

Crystal:

Maybe I should get a heating pad.

Vienna:

yeah.

Vienna:

A trip to the doctor.

Vienna:

That's pricey.

Vienna:

Um, but I also think that like, if you have a trusted little boo

Crystal:

a trusted friend.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

And just a friendly reminder to everybody to go out there and watch.

Crystal:

Um, my favorite winter song, which is, um, the cuffing season song from

Crystal:

SNL that SSA Sings is my favorite.

Vienna:

Oh my gosh, yes.

Vienna:

We, I am adding that to the show notes right now.

Vienna:

Put that link in there.

Crystal:

I feel like I need to watch that today.

Crystal:

But anyway, these are a little bit of jokes, but for real, do be safe

Crystal:

out there in a variety of ways and lean into what feels good.

Crystal:

Give your body some, some rest and some nourishment and, uh, I don't

Crystal:

know, put on your favorite podcast and like, make some soup for God's sake.

Vienna:

Make some soup

Crystal:

make some soup.

Vienna:

Put something in a crockpot.

Crystal:

Mm-Hmm,

Vienna:

Find a twinkle light.

Crystal:

breeze, something.

Vienna:

Oh,

Vienna:

we're getting fancy here with brazing

Vienna:

shit.

Crystal:

raised.

Vienna:

Uh, yeah, I think that is it.

Vienna:

Next week we're gonna be talking about, oh, it's a really fun one.

Vienna:

It's the gift one.

Vienna:

So like we're talking about

Vienna:

Yeah.

Vienna:

Some of the

Crystal:

this is a precursor.

Crystal:

The gift thing is so fun because I feel like this is a precursor to

Crystal:

like, when everybody knew that we would eventually have a podcast.

Crystal:

'cause every year, like clockwork, I'm not on Facebook anymore, but I'd

Crystal:

be like, Vienna, it's our Time And

Crystal:

like this is, it's the best time of year for Vienna and I to make fun of

Crystal:

um, what other people tell us to buy.

Crystal:

Um, while also giving some suggestions maybe for some

Crystal:

things that are actually lit.

Vienna:

This might be, I think the first thing we bonded over really way

Vienna:

back in the day was the Williams Sonoma Christmas catalog, and there were

Vienna:

blog posts also way back in the day.

Vienna:

I feel like it was on Gawker, RIP Gawker, uh,

Vienna:

just like reviewing all the absolutely bonker shit that people try to

Vienna:

get you to buy, and I love it.

Crystal:

I'm gonna check that.

Crystal:

Oprah's favorite things

Vienna:

Oh, Oprah's, I gotta say the Neiman Marcus fantasy gifts are

Vienna:

some of my favorites to look at.

Crystal:

Do you have to pay for the Neiman catalog or can you request it for free?

Vienna:

I don't know.

Vienna:

I haven't, they haven't, I have not gotten one in a while, but

Vienna:

don't worry, it's still online.

Vienna:

It's still online.

Vienna:

You don't even, you don't even need it.

Vienna:

You could just look at it online.

Vienna:

Uh, the Kardashian gift guides this year are absurd.

Vienna:

Uh,

Crystal:

Okay, so here's what we need to do.

Crystal:

We might need to like, this is, this might need to be like, we're gonna

Crystal:

have to talk offline about what this is because there's so many good resources

Crystal:

for this

Vienna:

And you know what?

Vienna:

If you want more of this, obviously tune in next week.

Vienna:

There's gonna be a whole episode,

Crystal:

We're gonna

Vienna:

but this is gonna be on the Patreon too.

Vienna:

We're gonna have a whole lot of chat on the Patreon about just

Vienna:

bonkers gift guides and maybe a little bit of the best and worst

Vienna:

gifts that we've ever gotten given.

Vienna:

Would love to hear from you all, too.

Crystal:

I love this

Vienna:

Yes.

Vienna:

It'll be really fun.

Vienna:

Um, alright, anything else we wanna say?

Vienna:

We are on such a long episode this week, but don't worry we're

Vienna:

cutting a whole lot of it out.

Vienna:

Um, yeah.

Vienna:

Oh, challenge this week.

Vienna:

I'm gonna challenge everybody go walk outside for 20 minutes.

Vienna:

I wanna know if you hate it as much as I do.

Crystal:

All right.

Crystal:

And then I immediately went, Hmm.

Crystal:

But I mean, it's not, if you're here in Maryland, it's not as cold

Crystal:

as is probably where Vienna is.

Crystal:

So let's try you out.

Vienna:

let's just be miserable together.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

Do also like stretch your hips out.

Crystal:

Okay.

Vienna:

Some old school hip circles.

Crystal:

Do some, do some hip work.

Crystal:

There's something about, I mean, I, I know, um, I don't feel like I'm going

Crystal:

into it 'cause I'm tired, but like your hips and your, your, your root and your

Crystal:

sacral needs you at this current juncture.

Crystal:

As we get into the colder months to keep them active.

Crystal:

Exercise those hips, those legs, those thighs

Vienna:

Especially if you're, especially if you're in the cuffing season,

Crystal:

If you win the cuffing season, then you got to be

Vienna:

you gotta keep them limber.

Vienna:

and you're Yeah.

Vienna:

Yeah,

Crystal:

Yeah.

Crystal:

Do your squats

Crystal:

Anyway,

Vienna:

All right.

Vienna:

You could find us all over the internet healing Happy Hour pod.

Vienna:

Find us on Patreon.

Vienna:

You could find us, um, just a whole dot com website.

Vienna:

You can find us, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok.

Vienna:

You can find Crystal at Temple Honey Healing.

Vienna:

You can find me glow up inside out.

Vienna:

You can find, you can find all sorts of shit on.

Crystal:

you can do whatever

Vienna:

You

Vienna:

can do whatever you want on Beyonce's Internet.

Vienna:

Okay?

Vienna:

Just do whatever you want.

Vienna:

I love you

Crystal:

You want, just be safe about it and come talk shit with

Vienna:

Yeah, and if you make a mistake, please tell us.

Crystal:

Okay?

Vienna:

Okay.

Vienna:

Love you.

Vienna:

See you next week.

Vienna:

Bye.

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About the Podcast

The Healing Happy Hour
Pushing back against the trauma of being human, together
Welcome to the Healing Happy Hour with Crystal and Vienna, two deeply unserious people exploring serious topics while cackling and sometimes crying.

Together we are learning to push back against the trauma of being human in the world today through ancient wisdom and practices, modern therapeutic techniques, and anything else that moves the needle towards healing.

If you’re also sick of tripping over your own bullshit, join us while we create a sanctuary for everyone who is ready to activate the magic in their life.

About your host

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The Healing Happy Hour

I’m Crystal, an energy worker and life coach specializing in boundary work, and a mom of two beautiful wildings. I’m on a mission to stay soft in the face of hard things, while guiding others to do the same through answering the invitation to embody their whole self.

I’m Vienna, mom of three goblins, yoga teacher in training, deeply self conscious and learning how to take up space. This phase of my life is about embracing my old favorite parts of myself, nurturing new ones and letting them harmonize into the new me.